


The Night Of My Life

by a1_kitkat



Series: Night of My Life [1]
Category: Westlife
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Emotional Hurt, First Kiss, First Time, Homophobia, M/M, Rejection, Resolution, School Dances, Shane Loves Nicky, Shnicky - Freeform, Slash, Songfic, Tightrope - Album, kiss and make up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 08:19:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3320489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his father's job relocates the family to Dublin, Shane spends his final year of high school with his new best friend, Nicky but as the school year comes to an end and Shane faces the reality of moving back to Sligo the one things he doesn't want to say goodbye to is Nicky... whom he realizes he loves as more than a friend</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Night Of My Life

In this moment,  
Everything suddenly makes sense  
All the random pieces in my life are falling into place  
In an instant  
I am flying high and scared to death  
Coz I wonder if you feel it to  
I wanna be a part of you

If it's goodbye now forever  
And I never get to see you again  
If it's the last kiss  
Before the world should end  
I wanna thank you for the night of my life

 

 

Nicky Byrne could feel someone watching him. He lifted his head and looked towards the front of the room. The History teacher, Mr. Flanigan, was reading a book at his desk. Nicky looked down at his own book and realized he hadn’t taken in a word of it. He was meant to be revising but he couldn’t be bothered. The blonde shifted his neck to relieve the tension then slowly turned around. Sitting diagonally behind him was Shane Filan. The younger boy was staring at him, his dark eyes meeting Nicky’s. The blonde grinned at him and Shane smiled back. Nicky turned back to his book and flicked to the back page.

He traced his finger over the brochure and stared at the name. University College Dublin. Nicky grinned to himself and opened the brochure for, what felt like, the millionth time.  
In a few short weeks he would be out of here and preparing for college. He had a scholarship with his name on it and was ready to spend the rest of his life playing soccer. He’d memorized every inch of the brochure but couldn’t stop himself looking at it again and again.

The blonde looked at his watch, impatient for the class to end. The bell rang and Nicky tucked the brochure away then leapt to his feet. By the time he’d grabbed his bag, Shane was standing by his desk.

“Still excited about your scholarship?” Shane asked him.  
“Is it that obvious?” Nicky replied. Shane laughed as the two of them began to leave the classroom.  
“Just saw you staring at the brochure again”  
“I can’t help it, it’s exciting”  
“I’m sure it is”  
“What about you? How’s the search going?”

Shane shrugged his shoulders.  
“There’s just too many to choose from” Shane explained. “And I just don’t know... I mean, you’re set. You know what you want to do with your life”  
“Soccer” Nicky stated.  
“Exactly”  
They reached Shane’s locker and both stopped. The brunette toyed with the lock then opened it, he pulled out his backpack and jacket then closed it before turning and looking at his friend.

“You know what you want out of life...” Shane trailed off.  
“But... So do you” Nicky replied.  
“Nix, nobody *wants* to be an accountant. It’s just something you fall into”  
“But you’re really good with numbers and stuff”  
“That doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of my life staring at them”

The two lads started down the hall towards Nicky’s locker. The blonde cast a sideways glance at his friend but didn’t say anything more. They reached Nicky’s locker and the blonde unlocked it. Shane leaned against the one beside Nicky’s while he waited for his friend.

“Oh, here comes trouble” he said.  
Nicky, still busy with his books, gave a muffled response.  
“Siobhan and Jessie are coming this way”  
The blonde turned around as the two girls reached them.  
“Hi Nicky, hi Shane” Jessie greeted them. “I’m really looking forward to the Deb next week”  
“Yeah? Me too” Nicky replied, smiling at her.

Siobhan was looking at Shane.  
“Is David looking forward to it?” Shane asked her. She shrugged and batted her eyes at the brunette.  
Shane averted his eyes in time to see Jessie place a kiss on Nicky’s lips. The blonde returned the gesture with equal vigor while Shane & Siobhan awkwardly looked at each other.

“Jessie, we’re going to be late” Siobhan insisted.  
She reached out and grabbed her friend’s arm. Jessie reluctantly separated herself from Nicky and said a slow goodbye. Shane stood aside, waiting impatiently for the two girls to leave.

After what felt like an age, Siobhan smiled at Shane then began to pull Jessie down the hall. The brunette slammed Nicky’s locker shut, snapping the blonde out of his trance.  
“Are you done?” Shane snapped. He didn’t know why he sounded so angry.  
“In my locker? No” Nicky replied.  
He then proceeded to unlock it again and reach inside for his books.

“So, things are going well with you and Jessie?” Shane asked.  
Nicky shrugged his shoulders.  
“Better than you and Siobhan anyway” Nicky replied.  
“There is no me and Siobhan”  
“I know”  
“I have a girlfriend, Nix”  
“Yeah... In Sligo, Shay... Siobhan is here. Now”  
“So?”  
“So? So.... She likes you”  
“And she’s going to the Debs with David”  
“Because you didn’t ask her”  
“Because *I* have a girlfriend... And she’s coming to the Deb with me”

Nicky closed his locker and turned to look at Shane.  
“I can’t believe you and her stayed together all this time” Nicky said.  
“It’s been a year” Shane replied. “Dad only relocated for the year then we’re moving back... And I’ll be with her again”  
“And you didn’t even cheat, not even once”  
“You say that like it’s a bad thing...”

Nicky laughed. The two lads began to walk down the hall towards the main doors. They continued their banter all the way to Nicky’s car. He unlocked it and climbed into the driver’s seat. Shane slid into the passenger seat and threw his belongings onto the back seat.

As the car moved along the street, the two lads singing along to the radio, Shane watched his friend out the corner of his eye. He thought of the day his father had told him they were moving to Dublin for a year. It hung heavily in his mind, so vivid, as though it were only yesterday. He’d refused to move but had known that he had no say in the matter.  
The move itself couldn’t have gone smoother but Shane hated every second of it. The drive had been long and had given him time to fantasize about how awful the next twelve months were going to be.  
All that had changed on his first day at school. That was the day he’d met Nicky.

They stopped at a set of traffic lights and Nicky reached over to turn the volume up. Shane grinned and continued singing along. The blonde beside him had become such a huge part of his life that as he thought back over the past year, he wondered how he’d managed so long without him.  
In that moment, the realization that he was going to have to carry on without Nicky, finally hit him. He stopped singing and turned to stare out the window. His days with his friend were numbered now.  
Sure, Sligo wasn’t that far from Dublin but Nicky would be busy with his soccer scholarship, classes and Jessie. Shane himself wasn’t even sure where he would be a year from now. The college his parents were urging him to attend was in London. For some reason, when he thought of being that far away from Nicky, it tore at his heart.

Nicky pulled up to a set of traffic lights and Shane glanced out the window. They were right by a playing field. A group of kids were kicking around a soccer ball. The sight caused Shane to sigh. Nicky looked over and saw what his friend was looking at. He grinned to himself then noted the look on Shane’s face.

“Shay?” Nicky began. “What’s really bothering you?”

**--**

Nicky’s words echoed through Shane’s mind for several days. He’d been unable to answer when his friend had asked. He succeeded in changing the subject and made small talk for the remainder of the drive. It had come as a relief when Nicky pulled up in front of his house.  
Shane spent the weekend trying not to think about Nicky’s question but it was difficult. It bothered him that he couldn’t give an honest answer.  
What *was* really bothering him? College? His future? Losing Nicky...  
For some reason, he found ways to avoid Nicky all weekend. It felt weird, not seeing his friend. They’d never gone that long without seeing, speaking to or emailing each other. His parents could tell something was wrong but they didn’t question him and, for that, he was grateful.

When Nicky pulled his car up in front of Shane’s house, ready for their final week of school, he was surprised when his mother came out. She told him Shane had already left; Nicky thanked her and drove off.  
He was beginning to worry now. He’d called Shane twice over the weekend and his friend hadn’t called back. Nicky also knew how much Shane detested the bus. His parents hadn’t wanted him driving in Dublin but Nicky would often put Shane behind the wheel, usually of a morning on their way to school.  
The blonde told himself to calm down, that he was acting like such a girl but he was worried. Shane hadn’t been himself on Friday and Nicky had hoped he’d snapped out of it by now.

Once he’d parked his car, he marched straight past the main building and headed for the bleachers. As soon as they were in sight, Nicky could see his friend. Shane was in his usual spot, on the top bench, tucked away in the corner. Nicky made his way across the field and up to the brunette.  
Shane’s nose was buried in a book and he didn’t notice the blonde until Nicky sat down next to him.

“You caught the bus to school?” Nicky greeted him. “What the fuck did I do wrong?”  
Shane sighed. Nicky reached out and snatched the book from him, closing it. “It’s not you, Nicky”  
When the blonde looked at Shane, he could tell his friend was upset.  
“Come on, out with it” Nicky demanded. “What happened?”  
“She’s not coming” Shane replied.  
Nicky blinked in confusion. It wasn’t until Shane’s eyes met his that it clicked in his mind.

“Samantha” Nicky stated. Shane nodded.  
“She called me and said she can’t make the Deb”  
“Ouch”  
“Said her parents don’t want her missing two days of school”  
“That’s it?”  
“Yeah”  
“Just, two days of school?”  
Shane nodded.  
“That’s a pretty lame excuse” Nicky said.  
“She broke up with me, Nix” Shane stated.

“Oh Shay” Nicky paused. “I’m sorry... I don’t know what else to say”  
“What else is there to say?” Shane asked.  
“The Deb is two days away. We’ve got to find you another date”  
“Nix... Two days before the Deb? No way. Besides, I don’t think I’m even gonna go now”  
“What?”  
“What’s the point?”  
“Well, I’ll be there, for one”  
Shane laughed.  
“You’ve already bought a ticket... And your tux. You can’t back out now”  
“Just watch me, Nix”

Shane grabbed his book from Nicky’s hands, stood up and walked away. Nicky remained where he was, watching his friend leave. In that moment, it occurred to him that Shane might really have meant what he’d just said. He vowed to do everything in his power to ensure Shane didn’t miss the Deb. He couldn't imagine the Deb without Shane, he didn't want to.

**--**

Nicky sat in the back seat of a stretched limo, adjusting his tie and looking nervously around at his friends. Lucas & Evan were arguing over the corsages they’d brought for their dates. Cormac was looking at Nicky with a quizzical expression on his face.

“What?” Nicky asked him.  
“Nothing” Cormac replied and looked away.  
The limo came to a stop and Nicky jumped out, slamming the door behind him. He walked up the stoop and knocked on the front door. A moment later, the door opened and Nicky smiled.

“Evening, Mrs. Filan” Nicky greeted Shane’s mother.  
“Nicky” she replied. “Don’t you look lovely”  
“Thank you” he replied.  
“Sweetheart, I’m afraid Shane isn’t expecting you”  
“I know, Mrs. Filan. He told me on Monday that he wasn’t going tonight but I thought I’d stop by and change his mind”

Mae smiled at Nicky. It touched her heart knowing that Shane had such a good friend. She had tried to talk him into going but to no avail. For some reason, she knew Nicky would succeed where she had failed.

The blonde made his way up the stairs to Shane’s bedroom. He stopped outside and took a deep breath. He didn’t know what state his friend would be in but hoped it wouldn’t take much to talk him into coming out. Nicky knocked on the door then waited until he heard Shane’s voice.

“Come in” Shane replied.

 

Nicky pushed the door open and stopped in his tracks. Shane was standing in front of the mirror, dressed in his suit pants and shirt. He was holding up two different ties, trying to decide which one to wear. Shane looked up and caught Nicky’s eye in the mirror.

“Hey Nix” Shane greeted him.  
The blonde didn’t speak. He blinked then snapped back to attention.  
“You changed your mind again?” Nicky asked.  
“Yeah”

Shane turned around and held the two ties up for his friend.  
“Which one?” Shane asked.  
Nicky walked over to the brunette and examined the two ties. He reached out and took one in his hand.  
“This one” Nicky said.  
He placed the tie around Shane’s neck and quickly tied it. Shane smiled in thanks then started on his cufflinks. Nicky turned and collected his friend’s jacket.  
“So, what made you change your mind?” Nicky asked him.  
Shane shrugged.

The two of them made their way out of the bedroom, stopping for Nicky to help Shane into his jacket. They continued down the stairs, Shane’s mother was waiting for them. She smiled at the sight of her son in his tux.

“Ohhhh, Shane” she gushed. “You look so grown up”  
“Mam!” Shane groaned, rolling his eyes.  
“Wait right there”  
She hurried from the room and returned a moment later with a camera. Shane groaned again.  
“Please? Just one photo?”  
“Go on, Shay. My mam took like fifty of me” Nicky smiled.

Shane sighed and reluctantly posed. She snapped two pictures before urging Nicky to stand beside her son. Shane nodded and Nicky moved closer to his friend. They both smiled as she snapped another photo of the two lads.  
A horn sounded from outside and Nicky remembered his friends in the Limo.

“Uh, we’d better go” Nicky said. “Lucas, Evan and Cormac are waiting for us”  
“Have fun” Mrs. Filan said as she followed them to the door.  
“We will, night mam” Shane replied.

The two lads hurried outside and into the waiting Limo. Nicky closed the door and the driver pulled away from the curb.  
“Took ye long enough” Cormac sneered.  
“Shane took some convincing” Nicky replied.  
“I’m sure he did”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“Nothing”

Nicky could sense there was more to the way Cormac was acting and he wasn’t ready to drop the subject just yet.  
“No, it’s not nothing” Nicky said. “What is your problem?”  
“None of your fucking business!” Cormac shouted.  
“Lads, drop it” Lucas intervened. “What’s up with you, Corm?”  
“Forget it, let’s just drop it”

Shane caught Nicky’s eye and he wanted to ask if he was okay but something stopped him. The five lads spent the remainder of the drive in an uncomfortable silence. Nicky was relieved when they reached the hotel and all climbed out of the Limo.  
Evan grabbed Nicky’s arm and pulled him aside. He whispered in his ear before slipping something into Nicky’s pocket. Shane witnessed the exchange but didn’t say anything. He turned back to the entrance and began to follow Lucas and Cormac into the Lobby. Kirsten, Victoria & Annabeth were waiting for their boyfriends. The three lads hurried over to their respective girls.

Shane was aware of Nicky’s presence behind him but didn’t turn around. His eyes skimmed the Lobby for Jessie. He spotted Siobhan and David, about to walk through the door. All around him he could see happy couples, holding hands and kissing. It made him miss Samantha dearly.

“Feeling like a plonker?” Nicky asked as he threw his arm around Shane’s shoulder.  
“You mean being the only lad here without a date?” Shane replied.  
“Not the only one, Shay”  
“The science geeks don’t count”  
“I’m not a science geek”

The brunette snapped his head up, looking at Nicky in confusion.  
“You?” Shane asked. “Where’s Jessie?”  
Nicky sighed and looked away.  
“She called me this morning” Nicky said. “Her father had a heart attack last night”  
“My God, is he okay?”  
“They think so... But she didn’t want to leave him alone tonight. You know it’s just her and her dad, right?”  
Shane shook his head, he hadn’t known; he had never cared enough to find out.  
“Her mother died when she was twelve so... He’s all she’s got. I offered to go sit with her but she told me I couldn’t miss this. Said it wasn’t right both of us missing out”  
“You gonna be okay? It’s not like you to go to a dance alone”  
“I’ll be fine, besides, I’m not alone” Nicky smiled. “I’ve got you to keep company”  
“I don’t need a babysitter”  
“Good, I’d hate to have to throw you over my knee and spank you”

They both fell silent, looking at each other. Shane’s expression was one Nicky hadn’t seen before. The blonde himself was wracking his brain, trying to determine what had made him say such a thing to his friend.

“You two coming?” Lucas called out  
“Coming” Nicky replied.  
Without saying another word to each other, the two lads began to follow their friends inside.

**--**

The night flew by and Shane watched as Nicky danced with almost every girl in attendance. It was as though they all knew he was dateless and they all wanted to make it up to him. Shane didn’t mind watching from the sidelines. He found the sight somewhat relaxing.  
Nicky would extract himself long enough to make sure Shane was having a good time before disappearing back into the throng of girls.

From his vantage point Shane noticed that, during the course of the night, several different lads approached Nicky. He’d hand them something and they would quickly disappear, along with their date.  
After the fifth person had vanished, Shane approached Nicky. He indicated for the blonde to follow him. They made their way into the bathroom and Shane quickly checked to make sure they were alone. Once the coast was clear, he rounded on Nicky.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Shane demanded to know. He reached out and grabbed Nicky’s arm, staring hard into his eyes. “Are you dealing drugs?”  
“What?” Nicky gasped.  
“I’m serious, Nix. Lads keep coming up to you and you keep giving them something. Please, tell me you’re not that stupid”  
“Shay, you know me! You know I’d never do something like that”  
“Then what? What are you up to?”  
Nicky sighed.  
“Meet me by the fire escape, five minutes” Nicky said.

The blonde pulled away from Shane and headed back to the party. The brunette remained where he was, still unsure what Nicky was really up to. He checked himself in the mirror then made his way to the door. He stepped back into the room but no one noticed him. The majority of the crowd was beginning to disburse, heading to their respective after-parties, and he spotted Nicky from across the room. He saw the blonde head disappear out the door and slowly followed him.  
Shane wasn’t sure where the fire escape was but he walked around the Lobby until he spotted the sign. The brunette made his way over to the door and slipped inside. Nicky was waiting for him.

“I know I could just tell you but this is much more dramatic” Nicky stated.

He reached out, grabbed Shane’s arm and began to lead him up the staircase. They walked up 3 flights of stairs until Nicky pushed the door open and went out. Shane allowed himself to be pulled along.  
They emerged into a deserted hallway. It was lined with locked doors; at the end of the corridor was a vending machine. It slowly clicked in Shane’s mind where they were.

“Nix, we’re in the hotel?” Shane asked. Nicky nodded.  
He walked down the hall, checking the numbers on the doors as he went. He reached into his pocket, the one he’d been reaching into all night, and retrieved a key. The blonde slid the key into the lock then opened the door.

Shane stood in the hall, watching as Nicky disappeared inside. The door slid closed behind him. Shane remained where he was, staring at the closed door. A moment later, the door opened and Nicky’s head emerged.  
“Shay, get inside!” Nicky hissed.  
The brunette moved forward and stepped into the room. Nicky pushed the door closed then turned to face his friend. The expression on his face was one Shane couldn’t read.

“This is what I... We... Were doing...” Nicky trailed off.  
Shane slowly turned around and looked at the room. There were rose petals on the bed and un-lit candles on the table and bedside chests. A stereo was on the table with several CDs beside it.

“Evan’s father co-owns this place” Nicky said. “So, Evan sneaked a look at the computer to see which rooms were vacant. He programmed a few key cards and we came by earlier today to set this up”  
“You did this?” Shane asked.  
“We set up six rooms like this and Evan gave the keys to me. We figured if anyone got suspicious then they wouldn’t check me... Lucas or Cormac maybe... And Evan too if his father suspected... But not me”  
“You set all this up, even knowing that Jessie wasn’t coming tonight?”  
Nicky shrugged.  
“Even if she had come tonight, I wouldn’t have brought her up here”  
“Really?” Shane asked, surprised.  
“Would you have bought Samantha up here, if you’d known?”  
Shane paused, thinking it over.  
“I don’t know” he answered honestly.

Shane walked over to the bed and sat down. He was suddenly feeling very self-conscious. The realization that he was alone, in a hotel room, with Nicky finally hit him  
It felt weird. Sure, he’d been alone in his bedroom with Nicky many times before but, somehow, this was different. The room had been arranged as a rendezvous, if not a romantic one than a sexual one.  
Shane shifted on the bed and was reminded of the rose petals he was now sitting on. Suddenly feeling uneasy, he stood up and walked towards the window. He took off his jacket and tossed it onto a chair. As he looked around the room, his attention was then drawn to the table with the stereo. 

Nicky watched Shane closely, suddenly unsure of himself. What on earth had possessed him to bring Shane up here? The blonde remained by the door, somewhat afraid to move further into the room.  
He watched as Shane walked over to the stereo and began to look through the CDs on the table. The brunette picked one up and examined it. He then looked up and smirked at Nicky. The blonde was following Shane’s lead, removing his jacket.

“You lads really thought this was seduction music?” Shane asked as he held the CD up.  
“Uh, no” Nicky replied. He crossed the room and took the CD from his friend. “This is mine; I was listening to it while we were setting the rooms up”  
“Why would you do something like this?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I just... Never picked you for one to take a girl to a hotel after the Deb”

“I’m a red-blooded male, Shay” Nicky replied. “But...”  
The blonde trailed off. He put the CD down and walked away from his friend. Shane was looking at the other CDs on the table; He picked one up and slipped it into the player. As the music filled the room, he walked over to Nicky.  
“But?” Shane asked. “But what?”  
Nicky sighed then turned back around.  
“But... You’re right” Nicky said to him. “I’m going to sound really pathetic here but... I never thought my first time would be in a hotel with some random girl”  
Shane raised his eyebrows then narrowed his eyes in confusion. He’d never heard Nicky refer to his girlfriend as ‘some random girl’ before.  
Seeing the look on his friend’s face, Nicky continued his explanation.  
“I’m not in love with Jessie” Nicky said. “Never have been. She’s sweet and all but... She’s more like a good friend, the kind of girl you care about like a sister”  
“The way you were kissing her last week, you weren’t thinking of her as a sister then”  
“She kissed me, Shay”

The two of them turned and looked out the window. It had started to rain, lightening lit up the sky.  
“I just... I want my first time to mean something” Nicky whispered.  
Standing side by side, Shane’s hand brushed against Nicky’s and he gently squeezed it, reassuringly.  
“You sound like such a girl” Shane laughed.  
“Shut up!” Nicky quipped.

They remained where they were, both staring out the window, watching the rain. Several moments passed, music playing softly behind them, before Nicky spoke again.  
“Can you believe we graduate on Friday?”  
“No, this year has gone so fast” Shane replied.  
“When are you... Going home?”  
“Mam’s already packing”  
“What?”  
Shane nodded and finally released Nicky’s hand. Neither one of them had noticed their hands were still entwined. Shane moved away and over to the bed.  
“She wants to head back to Sligo on Saturday” Shane confessed.

“This Saturday?” Nicky asked. Shane nodded. “Since when? I mean, how long have you known?”  
“About a week”  
“And you didn’t tell me?”  
“What was the point?”  
“Shane-“  
“Oh, I love this song!” Shane exclaimed. “Let’s dance”

The brunette grabbed Nicky’s hand once more and, smiling, he spun the blonde around. Still reeling from Shane’s admission, Nicky failed to respond with any enthusiasm.  
“Nix, you could at least try” Shane rolled his eyes.

The beat picked up and Nicky found his focus. The blonde stepped up and placed his hand on Shane’s shoulder then he grabbed Shane’s hand and directed it towards his waist. Giggling to themselves, the two lads began to dance to the music. Spinning and twirling until they were dizzy. The younger boy lost his footing and the two of them stumbled, laughing as they both fell to the ground.  
Nicky landed atop of the brunette, his hands on either side of Shane. The younger boy’s arms slid around Nicky’s waist and the two of them looked into each other’s eyes. Their laughter quickly subsided as their eyes remained locked.

Shane’s eyes scanned down Nicky’s face and paused upon his lips. The blonde shifted and quickly broke away from his friend. He leaned back, resting against the edge of the bed.  
The brunette rolled over and pushed himself up into a sitting position. He turned and looked at the older boy.  
“Nix, are you okay?” Shane asked him.  
Nicky blinked and shook his head, not realizing that he’d drifted off, lost in his own thoughts. Shane’s earlier confession was still weighing heavily on his mind.

“You’re really leaving” Nicky stated.  
“What?” Shane asked.  
“On Saturday... You’re leaving”  
“Yeah... We always knew that. It was only a year-long transfer”  
“But it went by so fast”  
“And we’re still going to be friends” Shane said. “Just because we don’t live in the same town, doesn’t mean our friendship has to end”  
“I guess I’m just... I got used to you being around all the time”  
“You survived seventeen years without me...”  
“Because I didn’t know you then”

They both stopped talking, neither one knowing what to say next. Shane continued to watch Nicky; he couldn’t stand seeing the look on his friends face. He knew that was why he’d not told Nicky the truth sooner. He hadn’t wanted to see that look; he’d already seen it for himself when he’d looked in the mirror.

“I’m gonna sound like such a loser here” Nicky said. “But will you come visit me?”  
Shane laughed, his smile reaching all the way to his eyes.  
“Of course I will” Shane replied. He crawled over to Nicky and mirrored his position, leaning back against the bed. “Will you come visit me?”  
Nicky reached out and placed his hand on Shane’s knee, gently petting it.  
“You don’t even know where you’ll be”  
“As soon as I do, you’ll be the first to know”

The CD started to skip and Nicky climbed to his feet. He walked over to the table and pressed ‘stop’. Shane also stood up. Nicky turned around and started to say something but his words were drowned out by laughter. He frowned at Shane as the brunette continued to giggle.  
“You’ve got....” Shane moved towards Nicky. “Your hair”  
The younger boy reached up and pulled a rose petal from Nicky’s blonde locks. He held it up for Nicky to see and they both gazed at it. The older boy raised his hand and took the petal from Shane.  
They both shifted their attention back to each other and their eyes met.

Without thinking, Shane leaned forward and pressed his lips to Nicky’s. For a moment, nothing happened. Then the older boy jerked away, dropping the petal on the floor and looking at Shane with a horrified expression on his face.

“I... What...?” Nicky stammered.  
“Nix... I...” Shane tried to explain. He wasn’t sure what had come over him. In that moment, something had drawn him to Nicky and he’d known that he was meant to kiss him.  
“No, Shane... I don’t... What the hell?”  
“Nicky, please?”  
“No” Nicky snapped. “Don’t”

The blonde grabbed his jacket from the chair then stormed over to the door. He threw it open and marched out into the hall. Shane hurried after him, grabbing his own jacket as he went.

“Nicky? Please” Shane begged. “I can explain”  
“No” Nicky shot back, continuing down the corridor.

Shane grabbed Nicky’s arm but the blonde broke his grip. He spun around and glared at the brunette.  
“Don’t fucking touch me” Nicky stated, his voice low and harsh.  
“I’m sorry” Shane pleaded, his eyes filled with tears. “Please, don’t go”  
“Just stay away from me, you fucking queer”

Nicky threw open the door to the stairs and disappeared inside. Shane remained frozen to the spot, his entire body in a state of denial and shock. The tears were spilling down his cheeks but he couldn’t stop them. His best friend had just turned his back on him... And called him a queer.  
He shook his head and buried his face in his hands. Twelve months of the greatest friendship he’d ever known and he’d thrown it all away in under five seconds. He’d spent the past week wondering how he’d get through the next few weeks without seeing Nicky every day... Now he didn’t know if Nicky would ever talk to him again.

**--**

Nicky didn’t sleep that night. By the time he got home, his parents had already gone to bed. He thought his mother might have been waiting up in her room but she didn’t come out to see him. For that, he was thankful. He hadn’t wanted to talk to her, she would have wanted to know all about the evening and he knew he couldn’t tell her the truth.  
As he lay in bed, all he could think about was Shane. He’d reacted badly; he knew that and a part of him felt awful because of it. His mind kept replaying the moment over and over again... And he could still hear himself calling Shane a queer.

The night was one of the longest Nicky had ever experienced. He’d picked up the phone several times but had failed to dial a number. At 4.17am, he’d gone to the computer and began to type an email. By 4.26am, he’d given up. There was no way he could apologize to Shane in an email. It had to come from him in person.  
The blonde promised himself he’d go around to Shane’s house first thing and apologize to him until Shane forgave him.  
He got out of bed at 5.45am and showered. Today was his last day of school before graduation and he couldn’t imagine getting through it, or graduation, without Shane.

The blonde left his house, managing to avoid both of his parents and drove directly to Shane’s home. He knocked on the front door and was greeted by Shane’s mother. She smiled at him but Nicky noticed her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“Morning Mrs. Filan” Nicky greeted her. “I know, I’m really early today but it’s really important that I talk to Shane before school”  
“I’m sorry Nicky; Shane’s not going to school today. He’s helping me pack up the house and prepare for the move”  
“Oh”  
“Peter wants to leave Saturday morning and we still have a lot of stuff to pack”  
“I understand... But, is Shane up yet? I really need to talk to him”  
“No, he’s not. Maybe you should stop by after school?”  
She didn’t wait for him to reply, she simply closed the door in his face.

Mae turned away and walked back into the Kitchen. Shane was sitting at the table, drinking a cup of tea.  
“I don’t understand, Shane” she said to her son. “What did Nicky do to upset you so much?”  
“I’m sorry, mam... But I can’t tell you”

Shane stood up and, taking his tea with him, he made his way upstairs to his room. He walked over to the window and looked outside. Nicky’s car was still in front of the house. Shane could see the blonde sitting in the driver’s seat. Blinking back a fresh wave of tears, he moved away and sat down on his bed. He appreciated that his mother cared but he couldn’t tell her the truth. He couldn’t imagine how she’d react of she found out what Nicky had done... He’d broken Shane’s heart. 

*

Nicky remained in his car for the longest time. He looked out the windscreen, glancing up at the window to Shane’s bedroom. When he saw his friend, he wasn’t sure what to do. A part of him wanted to leap out of the car and shout his apology but another part was telling him to leave. Listening to that part of his brain, Nicky started the car and drove off.  
By the time he arrived at school, he was regretting his decision to leave. As he walked down the hall, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him. No one approached him but he could hear them whispering behind his back.

He spotted a friendly face and hurried down the hall towards David and Siobhan. The two were talking softly but stopped when Nicky reached them.  
“Morning” he greeted them. “What the hell is going on?”  
Siobhan smiled at him, sympathetically, but David refused to meet his eye.  
“It’s nothing” she said.  
“I keep telling everyone that it’s not true” David stated.  
“That what’s not true?” Nicky asked.

Siobhan stepped aside and Nicky looked up at Shane’s locker. Across the door, in black spray paint, was the word ‘fag’. Nicky’s face fell and he could feel the color drain from his face.  
“Nicky?” David asked. “Are you okay?”  
“What?” He stammered. “Where did this come from?”  
“We don’t know who did it” David shrugged. “It was like that when we got here”  
“No... I mean... What brought this on?”  
“You mean you haven’t heard?”  
“Heard what?”

Siobhan looked around and saw how many people were staring at them. She moved closer to Nicky, her smile beginning to waiver.  
“There’s this... Rumor... Going around school” she explained. David tried to cut her off but she was determined to tell Nicky the truth. “Everyone’s saying that you and Shane went into a hotel room together, after the Deb, and...” she lowered her voice. “The whole school’s saying you’re a couple”  
“What?” Nicky asked.  
“They did they same thing to your locker, too” David added.

Nicky shifted his gaze back to Shane’s locker and the word written on it. He felt sick to his stomach. He started to wonder where the rumor had come from and if Shane knew about it... Maybe that was the real reason Shane had stayed away today.

“Nicky? Are you okay?”  
Lucas had joined them in front of the lockers and was looking at Nicky with concern.  
“Where did this rumor come from?” Nicky asked. “No one knew about those rooms but us”  
“It’s true then?” Lucas asked, his jaw dropping open in shock.  
“No!”  
“But...” Lucas trailed off. He appeared torn, like he wanted to know more but was afraid to say anything further. “It was Cormac... He said he saw the two of you leaving a hotel room, together”  
Nicky didn’t know what to say to that. He wanted to correct his friends, to tell them the truth but he was scared. Admitting the truth would mean telling them that Shane had kissed him and he didn’t want them to know that. He didn’t know how to react, what to say... He wanted to walk away but he couldn’t.  
At that moment, he spotted Cormac and hurried after him. He didn’t shout or get angry. The blonde simply approached his friend, blocking his path. When the brunette tried to step around him, Nicky pushed him into an empty classroom and closed the door. 

“Where’s your boyfriend today, Nix?” Cormac sneered at him.  
“What is your fucking problem?” Nicky demanded. “What did I ever do to you? What did Shane ever do?”  
“Oh come off it, Nicky” Cormac stated. “You made us go to his house and pick him up. You took him to the Deb as your date. You took him up to a hotel room. What the hell did you expect?”  
“Cormac!”  
“Shane’s a fucking queer, you said so yourself. He’s been wanting you for months and you encouraged him every step of the way. Yes, I saw the two of you last night. I saw you running away from him but you brought it on yourself”

Nicky could feel the anger rising inside him. Unable to control himself any longer, the blonde clenched his fist, raised his hand and punched Cormac. He didn’t wait around to assess the damage; he simply turned his back on his former friend and left the room.  
He didn’t look back. The blonde made his way through the halls, ignoring the whispers and the stares. When he reached his locker, he saw the graffiti on it but was determined to ignore it.

He, somehow, managed to survive the day at school. It was a relief to know this would be his final day. The Graduation ceremony was tomorrow and he’d never have to see any of these people again. Lucas and Evan would most likely remain his friends; neither of them seemed overly disturbed by the rumor. Nicky wasn’t sure if it was because they didn’t believe it or they just didn’t care.  
The blonde was off the grounds before school had officially finished. By the end of lunch, he’d grown tired of the whispers and had decided to skip the remainder of the day.

Unsure of what to do with himself, he’d driven home, taking a detour by Shane’s house. Once at home, he was still at a loss for what to do. He simply lay down on his bed and not gotten up again. His mother came into his room and asked him if he wanted dinner but he declined. He hadn’t even bothered to turn the light on; he just lay in the dark, staring out the window.  
He thought about what Cormac had said to him. Trying to decide if he really had brought this upon himself. If he was honest with himself, Shane kissing him hadn’t come as a total surprise. Perhaps a part of him had encouraged it. Not that he’d ever *really* thought about Shane in that way before... He knew he’d reacted badly but he couldn’t change that now.

Nicky reached for the phone and dialed Shane’s number. The phone simply rang out and he hung up in defeat. He hated not knowing what was going to happen. He’d been looking forward to Graduation, the ceremony and the party afterwards but now... Now he wasn’t even sure he’d go.

What was the point? He wondered. The majority of his classmates thought he was gay and were either ignoring him or whispering behind his back. Even if Shane did turn up to the celebration, Nicky knew he wouldn’t have the guts to apologize to him in front of the entire senior class. He sighed and reached for the phone again. He wanted to make things right again, no, he needed to make things right, no matter how much Shane hated him right now, he’d find a way to earn his friend’s forgiveness.

*

Shane stared at the phone, watching as Nicky’s name flashed upon the screen. He put the phone down and ignored it. Eventually it stopped ringing. The brunette picked it up and continued staring at it. He told himself to remain strong. He wasn’t ready to talk to Nicky, not right now.  
He briefly wondered why no one else had tried to ring him all day but assumed he wasn’t the only person who had skipped school that day. Shane looked around his room at all the items he was meant to have packed away. He hadn’t even started since he’d spent most of the day packing up the rest of the house. 

His mother had kept him busy with all her instructions but he’d welcomed the distraction. A part of him had found packing to be very therapeutic. He tossed the phone onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Sometime later, the phone rang again but he ignored it.  
He spent a sleepless night in his bed. Shane was dreading the following day as much as he was looking forward to it. He’d been looking forward to Graduation ever since his father had told him they were moving to Dublin for his senior year.  
Then he’d started to dread it, once he realized that it would be his last day with Nicky. Now he was dreading it because he would actually have to face his friend.

By the time his mother called him down for breakfast, Shane was a wreck. He didn’t know how he was going to get through the day. Whenever he felt this anxious, his first instinct was to phone Nicky... But this time he couldn’t.  
Shane left the house in a daze, already wishing the day were over. When he stepped onto the bus, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him but he continued walking. He hurried to the back and dropped into an empty seat, wishing his headphones weren’t drowning out what everyone was saying.  
He turned and looked out the window, refusing the meet anyone’s eye for the remainder of the trip. It came as a relief when he spotted the school ahead. When he stepped off the bus, he could see people in groups, hugging and laughing. His fellow classmates were preparing to say their farewells to their friends.

Shane walked past them keeping his head down, though he wasn’t sure why, and he made his way inside. He walked down the hall and approached his locker. From this distance, he could see something written across the door but couldn’t make it out. By the time he reached the locker, he felt sick to his stomach.

Lifting his head up high, he unlocked his locker and opened it. He hadn’t cleaned it since the start of the year so he began the arduous task. He was half way through when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. The brunette turned and saw Siobhan smiling at him. He removed his headphones and smiled back at her.

“I really don’t know what to say” she said. He could hear the sincerity in her voice. “But by staying away yesterday, it only encouraged them”  
“I was helping pack” Shane said to her. “We’re moving back to Sligo tomorrow”  
“Tomorrow?”  
Shane nodded his head. Siobhan sighed.  
“I guess I know now why you didn’t ask me to the Deb” She said. “Why didn’t you just tell me the truth?”  
“Siobhan, what... I don’t...”  
“Oh, I’m sorry... You... You’re not comfortable talking about this...”  
Shane took a deep breath.  
“Do you know who did this?” he pointed to the graffiti.  
“No... They did that to Nicky’s locker too”  
“They did?”  
“Yeah” 

Shane turned his back and tried to hold back his tears. For the briefest moment, he’d feared Nicky had done this but he’d known that couldn’t be true. Nicky wasn’t the type of person to do that. But it made him wonder who had done it, if they’d written the same thing on Nicky’s locker. Who else, aside from Nicky, knew what had happened? 

“Shane? Are you okay?” Siobhan asked.  
“Yeah” he said his back still to her. “I’m fine. I’ll see you at the ceremony?”  
“Oh, okay. Guess I’ll see you later then”  
When Shane didn’t respond, she turned around and walked away.

Once she was gone, Shane put his headphones back in and continued cleaning his locker. Most of the items he found in the locker went straight into the bin. However, he’d somehow managed to acquire a fair amount of Nicky’s belongings. He tossed these into his bag then closed his locker for the last time.

*

Nicky was standing in front of his locker, throwing random items into the garbage bin. Every so often, he’d find something worth keeping and place it in his bag. He could feel someone watching him and he turned around. Shane was standing down the hall, staring at him. When Nicky spotted him, he wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to run up to him, apologize and beg for forgiveness... But at the same time... Another part of him wanted to wrap his arms around Shane and kiss all their troubles away. Of course he knew how ridiculous that would be. If he were to kiss Shane, right here in front of half the senior class, neither of them would make it to Graduation.  
He didn’t quite understand what had changed. What was it, inside him that was making him see Shane this way? He’d had a chance and he’d blown it. He’d run away, in fear... But now all he wanted was the chance to do it all again.

Nicky smiled, tentatively, at Shane and the brunette began a slow approach. By the time Shane reached Nicky’s locker, half the people around them seemed to stop what they were doing and watch them. Shane’s earlier feeling of nausea seemed to return as he reached into his bag and pulled out Nicky’s stuff.  
The blonde reached out and took the items from Shane. He then reached into his locker and pulled out a few of Shane’s.

“Awww, did the two of you break up?” Cormac’s voice filled the hallway.  
“Fuck off, Cormac” Nicky snapped.  
“It just breaks my heart, seeing you returning each other’s things”  
Several students laughed.  
“We didn’t break up, you dickhead” Nicky practically shouted.  
Shane stood frozen in the middle of their argument. He didn’t want to get involved but he didn’t know if he should stay out of it or not.  
“That’s not what it looked like to me... The way you stormed out of that hotel room” Cormac continued to tease them. “Shane, following you and begging you not to leave”

“Why are you doing this, Cormac?” Siobhan spoke up.  
“Because I thought Nicky was one of us... Not a fucking pussy”  
“Cormac!” Lucas interrupted.  
“Nicky is one of us” Evan stated.  
“No, he *was*... Until this faggot turned up”

It happened too quickly for anyone to stop it. Nicky lunged at Cormac, his fist held high and he punched him as hard as he could. The larger of the two was quick to defend himself. Lucas, Evan and two other students hurried forward to rescue Nicky.  
“You see what’s happened here?” Cormac shouted. “Ten years of friendship, Nicky... And you choose that queer over me”

Nicky turned his back on Cormac, wondering how he’d managed to be friends with him for ten whole years. The blonde moved away from the crowd and looked around for Shane but the brunette was long gone.

*

Shane hid in the Library until it was time for the Graduation ceremony to begin. He was walking across the car park when he spotted Jessie. Instinct was telling him to avoid her but he found himself walking towards her and her father. When she saw him, she smiled warmly.

“Hi Shane” she greeted him.  
“Jessie” he replied.  
“Have you met my father?”  
She turned to the older man beside her.  
“Dad, this is Shane” she said to him. “He’s Nicky’s best friend”  
“Nice to meet you son”  
“I’m happy to see you’re out of hospital already”  
“Nothing was going to stop me from seeing my girl graduate”

“Would you like me to help you to your seat?” he asked. Jessie smiled, gratefully at Shane and the three of them made their way to the auditorium. They helped Jessie’s father to his seat then Shane and Jessie headed towards their classmates.  
They were several feet away when Jessie stopped and grabbed Shane’s arm.  
“I haven’t been at school for the past few days” she said to him. “But I know what’s been going on... Siobhan told me”  
“Told you what?”  
“Everything... I know it’s none of my business but... I’ve known Nicky a long time” Jessie continued. “We’ve been friends for years but he’s been... Different... Ever since you turned up and I didn’t know why...”  
“I didn’t make him gay” Shane whispered.  
“No, you didn’t... I think you just made him realize is all”  
“Nicky’s not gay, Jessie... I hope the two of you have a happy life together”  
“Shane, don’t give up on him. He’s worth fighting for”

At that moment, Siobhan walked up to them and Jessie hurried off with her. Shane scanned the auditorium and spotted his parents. His mother waved at him so he smiled and nodded to her.  
Deep down, he just wanted to scream. He wanted this to all be over. He missed Sligo and just wanted to go home. His life had been so much easier back then, before he’d met Nicky. He’d never questioned himself, never felt drawn or attracted to another man before. The brunette blinked back tears as he made his way to his seat. The sooner this started, the sooner he could go home... To Sligo.

*

When Nicky walked into the auditorium, he saw his parents and started towards them. He stopped when he saw who they were sitting next to. His mother was talking to Shane’s mother. Unfortunately his mother spotted him and waved him over. Nicky slowly approached them; he didn’t like the way Mrs. Filan was looking at him. For a brief second, he wondered if she knew the truth.

“Hi mam, hi Mrs. Filan” he greeted them.  
“Nicky, look what Mae just gave me” Yvonne held a box out to him.  
Nicky took the small package from her and lifted the lid. Inside was a framed photo... The one she had taken of Nicky & Shane before the Deb.  
He didn’t know what to say. He quickly replaced the lid and handed it back to his mother.  
“Whatever the two of you are fighting about, you’ll make up” Mrs. Filan said to him. “Shane’s miserable... Not just about moving back to Sligo. He’s going to miss you. I thought you’d like a copy of the photo because I know you’ll be friends again before we leave tomorrow”  
Nicky nodded and mumbled a thank you. He really didn’t know what else to say to her. Unable to think of anything more to say, the blonde said a hasty goodbye to his mother and disappeared into the crowd.

The two women exchanged a look.  
“There’s nothing more we can do now” Mae said.  
“I just hope we’ve done enough” Yvonne replied.

**--**

Jessie attempted to coax Nicky to join her at the Graduation party but he declined her invitation. She understood why he didn’t want to be around his classmates and didn’t push him. The blonde searched the school yard for Shane but he didn’t see the brunette or his parents. He was forced to accept that Shane had already left and decided to follow his example.  
Nicky tracked down two or three people and said his farewells before heading to his car. As he slid behind the wheel, the realization that he would never have to come back to school finally hit him. He reached over and turned the stereo up then drove out of the car park for the last time.

He didn’t go directly home. The blonde drove aimlessly around the streets, looping past Shane’s house several times but he didn’t actually stop. It was dark by the time he got home. His mother was sitting in the living room, nursing a cup of coffee.

“Hi mam” Nicky greeted her.  
She smiled at her son and kissed his cheek as he leaned down to hug her. As he stood up, he spotted something atop the mantle. His mother had lit a fire so the room was reasonably dark but he recognized the photo through the dim light. Nicky walked towards it and picked it up.  
“It was nice of Mae to give it to me” she said. “I think she wanted to give it to you but wasn’t sure if she’d see you”  
Nicky nodded but didn’t speak.  
“What happened, sweetheart?” she wanted to know. “You were so excited about the Deb but you haven’t told me a thing about it. Then you rushed off to school yesterday morning but came home in a miserable state... Then today... You and Shane didn’t even look at each other”  
“I know”  
“Is this because you’re mad at him for leaving?”

Nicky held the photo in his hand as he walked back towards the couch. He sank down onto the cushion beside his mother and continued to gaze at the photo.  
“I’m going to college soon anyway” Nicky said. “What difference does it make if he leaves now or when he goes to college?”  
“Where’s he been accepted to? Just because you go to different schools, doesn’t mean the friendship has to end”  
“He hasn’t decided yet”  
Yvonne opened her mouth to say something but Nicky cut her off.  
“I’m going to go up to bed” Nicky said to her. “Good night mam”  
He hugged her then stood up. The blonde walked out of the room, carrying the photograph with him. Once inside his room, he pushed the door closed and collapsed on his bed, still staring at the image in his hand.

It was 9.37pm. Nicky knew that in a few short hours, Shane would be on his way back to Sligo and there was a good chance that he’d never see him again. The blonde closed his eyes, hating himself for how he’d treated his friend. Shane deserved an apology but he was avoiding Nicky. He knew he needed to find a way to make Shane listen to him... He just didn’t know how.

**--**

Shane was sitting on the bed in his room when he heard a knock at the door.  
“Come in” he called.  
The door opened and his mother stuck her head into the room.  
“Just came to see how the packing’s coming along” she said. “Haven’t heard a peep out of you since tea”  
Shane glanced around at all the empty boxes that lined the floor of his room. He’d only managed to pack a third of his belongings away.

Mae stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She walked over to her son and sat down on the bed beside him.  
“I have something for you” she said, holding out a small package. “A sort of graduation present. One that your father doesn’t know about. I just... I hope you still like it”  
Shane accepted the item from her and carefully un-wrapped it. Inside was a framed photograph. The one his mother had taken of him with Nicky before the Deb. The image brought tears to his eyes but he quickly blinked them back.  
“Thanks mam” Shane stammered.  
“You don’t like it. I’m sorry”  
“No, I love it” Shane insisted.  
“It’s just, I know something happened to you and Nicky. Did the two of you have a fight?”  
“No, not exactly”

Shane continued to stare at the photo, the way Nicky was smiling at him.  
“Mam, do you remember what it was like when we first moved here?” Shane asked.  
“Of course, you hated it” she replied.  
“I did... I never told you the real reason why though... On my first day at school, I was teased and tormented. There was this group of lads who acted like jerks. They seemed to think I was an easy target and they were right. There were four of them and three of the lads spent my first two days calling me... a queer and a fag”  
“Oh Shane-“  
“They probably would have kept calling me that” Shane continued “if their friend hadn’t stopped them” he looked up at his mother. “It was Nicky. He stood up to them and he reached out to me, wanting to be my friend. I was weary, at first, scared that it was some kind of joke they were playing on me... But Nicky was so sincere... And he’s never given me reason to doubt that. He’s been the best friend I’ve ever had”

The tears reformed in Shane’s eyes and this time he let them come. His mother slid her arm around his shoulder and held him to her.  
“What happened at the Deb, sweetheart?” She gently coaxed him.  
“I kissed him” Shane whispered.  
An eerie silence filled the room as Shane realized just what he was saying to his mother. He knew that he was coming out to her and he hoped, prayed, she’d understand.  
“I kissed him and he ran away from me” Shane said.  
“Oh Shane, I’m so sorry”

“Mam... I’m gay” he whispered.  
“I know” she whispered back as she hugged him close.  
“You do?” Mae nodded.  
“I’ve known for awhile now, Shane”  
“But how... When?”  
“I knew from the minute you brought Nicky home to meet us. I took one look at him and I just knew that he was going to break your heart”  
“Oh”  
“Shane, your father and I used to make frequent trips back to Sligo but once you and Nicky started spending so much time together, you were never interested in going home. Not even to see Samantha. I watched as you slowly fell in love with him”  
“But you never said anything?”  
“It wasn’t my place”  
“Does dad know?”

“Of course not” Mae laughed. “But, like I said, I knew from the moment I saw him... Saw the way you were looking at him, that he was going to break your heart... But on Wednesday night, when I opened that door and saw him standing on the porch, determined to make you go to the Deb... I saw then just how much he cares about you”  
“He ran away from me, mam”  
“Maybe so... But he was here first thing yesterday morning and he seemed to want to make things right... What happened at school today?”

Shane pulled away from his mother and looked at her for a moment. This was quickly becoming one of the strangest conversations he’d ever had with her but the fact that she was staying by his side and being supportive was like a shining beacon of light. She smiled at him and he knew that he’d never forget this moment for as long as he lived.

“Honestly? It was like my first day of school all over again” Shane confessed. “Right down to being called a fag... And Nicky coming to my rescue”  
Mae didn’t say anything but waited for her son to elaborate more.  
“Those same lads who teased me on my first day... One of them had seen Nicky & me just after I’d kissed Nicky and he made it his business to tell the whole school. Someone wrote ‘fag’ on our lockers and everywhere I went, I saw people pointing or staring... I guess that’s what it was like for Nicky yesterday... When I went up to Nix, to give him some of his stuff that had been in my locker, the lad who’d seen us started teasing us... he called Nicky a pussy and me a faggot and a queer. That was when Nicky punched him... It’s kinda ironic that my last day of school was almost identical to my first”

“Do you love him?” Mae whispered.  
“I think I do” Shane nodded his head.  
“I’m sorry we have to leave in the morning, it sounds like you and Nicky need a second chance”  
“Maybe we’re just not meant to be”  
Mae didn’t know what else to say. She cast another look around the un-packed room then turned to Shane.  
“Don’t stay up too late but try to get some packing done” she said. “Your father wants to be home around lunchtime”

“Mam?” Shane asked. “Do you want to go home? To Sligo, I mean”  
“Sweetie, I was born and raised in Sligo. My whole life is there... My parents and my friends are all there. I’ve always been a small-town girl...”  
“You’ve never wanted to live anywhere else?”  
“I’ve never had any reason to want to” Shane nodded his head in understanding.  
“I’ve just got to take the garbage out then I’m going to bed. Like I said, don’t be up too late”  
“I won’t... Good night mam”  
“Goodnight Shane”

She was halfway to the door when Shane ran over and hugged her as tightly as he could.  
“Thank you” he whispered in her ear.  
“You’re welcome” she replied.

*

An hour later, Shane was lying on his bed, still mentally replaying the conversation he’d just had. He couldn’t believe his mother had known all along how he felt about Nicky and had kept it to herself. When he’d walked across the stage and officially graduated high school, he never imagined that he’d be coming out to his mother the same day.  
He looked at the clock and noted it was after half eleven. The brunette wasn’t even tired but he didn’t feel much like packing either. He had too much on his mind.

A noise caught his attention and he sat up, looking around. It didn’t appear to be coming from anywhere inside the room. He heard it again and stood up. Shane made his way to the window and pulled back the curtain. A set of blue eyes were staring back at him. Holding back a yelp, Shane jumped back in shock. With trembling hands, he reached up and opened the window.

“Nicky?” he gasped. “What are you doing?”  
“Just... Felt like climbing a tree?” Nicky suggested.  
“Well, get in here before someone sees you”  
The blonde did as Shane asked. He swung down from the branch and caught the edge of the windowsill. Shane moved forward and offered him his hand then he helped the older boy climb through the window. Once Nicky’s feet were firmly on solid ground, an awkward silence filled the room.  
Seeing Shane again caused Nicky to remember the last thing he’d said to him. For Shane, looking at Nicky stirred up the same memory and the pain he’d felt at hearing his friend call him a ‘fucking queer’. 

“I looked for you after the ceremony” Nicky said.  
“I left early” Shane replied.

Nicky could feel tears forming in his eyes but he told himself to stay strong. He was relieved the only light in the room was coming from Shane’s desk lamp. The blonde didn’t want Shane to see him cry.

“Shay, I am so sorry” Nicky began. “I never should have said what I did”  
“You mean when you called me a queer” Shane said.  
“Yes. It was wrong and I didn’t mean it”  
“But I am... I am a queer, Nix”  
“No, don’t say it like that”  
“I’ll say it however I want to say it”  
“Please, Shane... I’m really, really sorry”

Shane closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  
“I never meant to react the way I did” Nicky explained. “I just... I got scared”  
“You... Scared... How the fuck do you think I felt?”  
“Shay-“  
“I’ve been struggling for a long time... With how I felt about you... Ever since dad said we were moving back to Sligo, all I could think about was how much I was going to miss you... I knew those feelings were stronger than just friendship but I was terrified of telling you in case... In case you.... Reacted the way you did”  
“Shane-”  
“After Sam broke up with me, I expected to be more upset but I wasn’t. A part of me was relieved. Like I didn’t have to pretend anymore... I didn’t want to go to the Deb but I knew I had to... That I couldn’t miss out on what could be the best night of my life. I thought you were going with Jessie but I didn’t care. I just... I felt I had to be there, with you... Then you turned up here, looking amazing in your suit and... And all I wanted to do was lean over and kiss you”  
Nicky looked up at Shane and he could see tears spilling down his friends cheeks. He moved towards him, wanting to reassure him and tell him it was going to be okay.  
“When you took me up to that hotel room, a part of me was so hopeful that you felt the same way about me... That you were taking me there to tell me that... But you didn’t. You dropped hints... I could see it in your eyes that you felt it too”  
“Shay”  
“I kissed you, believing that you wanted me to”  
“I’m sorry” Nicky whispered.

Shane buried his face in his hands and allowed his tears to continue. He didn’t care what Nicky thought of his tears, he just needed to get them out. When he felt Nicky’s arms around him, he wanted to pull away. He wanted to be mad but there was a genuine affection in Nicky’s touch.

“I’m sorry” Nicky whispered again. “I never should have walked away from you”  
Shane sniffled and felt himself melding into Nicky’s embrace.  
“I shouldn’t have called you what I did and I shouldn’t have left you in that hotel room on your own... If I could go back and do it all again, I would” Nicky took a deep breath. “Please, believe me when I say that this is all I’ve thought about all day... That I threw away our friendship, and so much more, with one stupid, insensitive word”

The younger boy started to move away but Nicky didn’t release him completely. He kept his arms around Shane but allowed for space between their bodies. The brunette looked up at him, staring intently into his eyes.  
“What would you do differently?” Shane asked him.

In that moment, as Nicky gazed into Shane’s eyes, he felt a sudden clarity. Like everything that had happened over the past few days had all been leading up to this moment... And he was suddenly terrified. From the look in the younger boy’s eyes, he could tell that Shane was having the same thought as him  
“When you kissed me, I wouldn’t pull away” Nicky whispered. “I’d hold you in my arms and kiss you like there’s no tomorrow”

Shane took a step back, a look of confusion on his face. He knew Nicky was just playing with him, that he didn’t really mean what he was saying. Shane was starting to regret opening the window and allowing Nicky into his bedroom. The blonde was looking at Shane then his eyes spotted something on the desk by the lamp. He walked towards it and picked it up.

“Your mother gave me one of these too” Nicky said, holding up the framed photo. “I must have stared at it half the night”  
Shane swallowed hard and continued to watch Nicky.  
“I thought she was giving it to me to punish me... To remind me what I was going to be missing out on...”

“Nicky...” Shane began, nervously. “What are you doing here? Why did you come here tonight?”  
“Because I...” Nicky replaced the photo then turned to look at Shane. “I couldn’t let you leave without... Without saying I’m sorry”

The older boy started to move towards Shane. The brunette stood his ground, mostly as he was too scared to move away. It was an odd moment, the two of them alone in Shane’s bedroom.  
Shane wanting, desperately, to share one last kiss with the blonde. Nicky, equally as desperate; But both were too afraid to make the first move.  
Neither one of them spoke; they just stared at each other. Nicky standing by the desk, Shane looking ready to climb out the window Nicky had just climbed through.

“I never meant to hurt you” Nicky insisted. “I was an idiot... Even more-so for not telling you what happened at school yesterday. The graffiti on your locker... All the stories our friends were telling... I overheard a group in the bathroom talking about us, saying that... Well, it’s not important what they were saying...”  
“No, what... What were they saying?”  
“That... They were saying that I used to give you a lift to and from school every day in exchange for...” Nicky’s eyes filled with tears as his speech faltered.  
“Exchange for?” Shane pressed.  
The blonde looked away, not wanting to finish what he’d started saying. Hearing strangers at school saying it was one thing but repeating it to Shane was another.  
“They were saying that you would give me blowjobs while I was driving” Nicky said.  
“Isn’t that... Like... Illegal?” Shane asked.

The question caused Nicky to break into nervous laughter. He finally looked up and met Shane’s eyes.  
“That’s all you have to say?” Nicky asked him.  
“What else can I say?” Shane replied.  
“I just...” Nicky shrugged. “I was so mad when they said it... I wanted to march up to them and smack the smirks from their faces”  
“Did you?”  
“No” The older boy sank down onto Shane’s bed. “I didn’t want them to know I was there... That I could hear them...”  
“Why not?”  
Nicky sighed then began to pick at a loose thread on his jacket. “I thought that... If they saw me, they’d start asking questions... Questions that I didn’t want to answer”

Shane hesitantly moved towards his bed, looking down at his friend. Nicky wasn’t looking at him.  
“I didn’t get it, at first... Why what they were saying hurt so much” Nicky continued. “But it made me mad, we shouldn’t have to defend our friendship or listen to hurtful rumors like that”  
“I’m sorry that your friends ended up being such jerks” Shane said to him.  
“I’d never realized how much of a dick Cormac is... He started all this by telling everyone about us being in the hotel together”

The brunette carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, unable to bring himself too close to Nicky.  
“Why did you take me up to that hotel room?” Shane asked him.  
“You asked” Nicky replied.  
“I asked what you were up to; you could have just told me”  
“I know... But I...” he continued to avoid looking into Shane’s eyes as he spoke. “Being there with you... It just... Felt right”  
“Why did you take me up to that hotel room?” Shane asked again, moving closer to the blonde.  
Nicky could feel Shane’s presence growing closer but he stared down at his hands.  
“Because I wanted to” Nicky replied.

He finally looked up but when he realized just how close to him Shane really was, he leapt to his feet and took a step away from the bed.  
“You wanted to” Shane repeated.  
“I did”  
“Just like you wanted me to kiss you?”  
“No... Yes... But no... I don’t know”

Nicky turned his back on Shane in an attempt to get his thoughts together. Shane’s question hadn’t been overly difficult but he was too afraid to answer it. He’d already admitted to Shane that he wished he could do it all again. He knew his actions had hurt his friend more than he’d ever wanted to... This was his chance to make things right before Shane left him for good.  
The blonde turned around and looked directly into Shane’s eyes. The younger boy was perched on the edge of his bed, looking nervous and anxious. In that moment, Nicky knew exactly what he had to do.

“Why did you come here tonight?” Shane whispered. “Why did you climb in through my window?”

The older boy didn’t reply. He lifted his head and crossed the room. Nicky stopped in front of Shane, leaned down and grabbed both of Shane’s hands in his. He then pulled the younger boy to his feet so they were staring directly into each other’s eyes. Then Nicky leaned forward and pressed his lips to Shane’s.  
For the briefest moment, Shane didn’t react, too surprised and too scared to ruin the moment. When he felt Nicky’s arm slide around his waist, it was like a fire had been lit inside him and he needed Nicky to help him put it out. He found himself returning the kiss with equal vigor and, by the time they separated, both were left gasping for air.

Shane’s eyes were wide with shock and he looked at Nicky like he were about to pass out.  
“You just kissed me” Shane stated. Nicky smiled.  
“I did” Nicky replied.  
“Why?”  
“Because I was a jerk and I should have done it weeks ago”  
“I’m leaving tomorrow”  
“I know”  
“This could be the last time I ever see you”  
“I’m not ready to say goodbye yet”  
“Then don’t”  
Nicky leaned forward and captured Shane’s lips once more, effectively silencing the brunette. He felt Shane’s arms encircle him and he returned the embrace, pulling Shane’s body to him. The younger boy parted his lips and Nicky took it as an invitation, sliding his tongue into Shane’s mouth.  
He heard a low moan and realized he was subtly thrusting his hips against Shane’s. He tried to stop himself but couldn’t, he found the movements to be comforting, especially when Shane didn’t attempt to pull away.

They stood together in the middle of the room, arms around each other as they took turns exploring and battling for dominance in the embrace. Nicky slid his hand underneath Shane’s shirt, causing the brunette to pull back, startled.  
“Jesus Nix, your hands are cold” Shane stated. He wondered how he’d not noticed it earlier. “How long were outside for?”  
Nicky began to rub his hands together, attempting to warm them up.  
“Well I wasn’t exactly watching the clock” he replied. “But... I don’t know... Maybe half an hour?”  
“Half an hour? What on earth were you thinking?”  
“Clearly I wasn’t” Nicky explained. “If I hadn’t slipped, I’d probably still be out there”  
“Were you going to stay out there all night?”  
“I don’t know... I wasn’t exactly thinking that far ahead you know”

When he looked up from his hands, he noticed Shane was smiling. When Nicky saw the twinkle in the brunette’s eyes, all he wanted was to lean in and kiss him again. Shane made the first move, stepping towards him and reaching out. The younger boy took one of Nicky’s hands in his and gently began to massage it. Nicky closed his eyes as Shane’s fingers warmed his hand. He sensed Shane’s movements as the brunette leaned in and kissed him.  
As Shane took control, Nicky could feel his body coming to life. His cock was beginning to stir and he wondered how long it would be before Shane noticed. He was the first to pull away, leaving Shane wanting more.

“Nix?” Shane whispered.  
“Sorry” Nicky replied. “I, uh...”  
“You’re still cold” The older boy nodded his head. Shane paused for a moment, thinking to himself as his eyes scanned the room. For the first time since moving, Shane was happy his parents had given him the bedroom with the ensuite bathroom. He walked over and turned the light on.  
“Warm water” Shane said. “But be quick, my parents think I’ve gone to bed already”

Nicky nodded and went inside, pushing the door closed behind him. Once inside he turned the tap on and waited for the water to warm up. He hadn’t realized how cold he was until Shane had pointed it out. Once he felt warmer, he turned the water off and looked up into the mirror. He examined his reflection, wanting to look his best.  
The blonde reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box. He stopped and quickly looked around. Nicky opened the medicine cabinet and sighed with relief. Shane hadn’t packed anything from this room yet.  
Nicky found what he was looking for and slipped it in his pocket. The box went back into his jacket and he closed the medicine cabinet. He turned and headed for the door. When he returned to Shane’s room, the brunette was sitting on his bed, waiting for him.

“Better now?” Shane asked him. Nicky nodded.  
“Much” he replied.  
They both fell silent, the mood having changed after the interruption. Nicky remained by the bathroom door while Shane stayed on the bed. Neither one of them moved.  
“What happens now?” Shane asked.  
“I don’t...” Nicky began. “What do you want to happen?”  
“I want you to come here... And hold me”

Nicky nodded and crossed the room. He climbed onto the bed beside Shane and wrapped his arms around him. The brunette leaned into the touch, nuzzling his face against Nicky’s chest. The older boy lay down, pulling Shane with him, so they lay together atop of Shane’s bed.  
They stared into each other’s eyes, both knowing their time together was limited. Nicky brought his hand up to Shane’s cheek and gently stroked it. The brunette closed his eyes and gently kissed his palm.

“I don’t want you to leave” Nicky said to him.  
“I know” Shane replied.  
“I think I’m falling in love with you”  
Shane smiled as he felt tears forming in his eyes. He covered the space between them and kissed Nicky. There was an unspoken question in the air, one neither of them was brave enough to voice.  
Nicky trailed his hand down Shane’s chest and slipped it under his shirt. This time, Shane didn’t pull away from his touch. Instead, he reached down and placed his own hand on Nicky’s thigh, wondering how far he could go.

“It’s okay” Nicky whispered. “You can touch me; I promise I won’t run away again”  
“Do you want me to... To touch you?” Shane asked.  
“You’re scared”  
“Aren’t you?”  
“Well... It’s not like I’ve ever done anything like this before”

Shane sat up, looking at Nicky with a look of nervous confusion upon his face.  
“How far have you gone?” Shane asked him.  
“Not very” Nicky admitted.  
“How far do you want to go tonight?” Shane’s voice was barely louder than a whisper.  
Nicky sat up and looked into Shane’s eyes. He didn’t know how to put it into words so he reached into his jacket pocket and retrieved the box of condoms. The blonde dropped them onto the mattress in front of Shane. At first, Shane didn’t react. He simply stared at the box, his eyes wide with shock.

“Shay?” Nicky asked.  
He watched as Shane reached out and picked up the box. The expression on his face changed and Nicky waited for him to say something. Shane’s hand was shaking as he opened the box and several condoms fell onto the bed. He picked one up and turned it over in his hand a few times.  
“Shane?” Nicky asked again.  
“Where did... What...?” Shane paused. “Where did you get these?”  
“My brother gave them to me... For my eighteenth birthday”  
“And you’ve, what, just been carrying them around in your pocket for two months?”  
“No!”  
“Did you have them at the Deb?”

Nicky reached out and placed his hand on Shane’s.  
“No” he said, looking directly into Shane’s eyes. “I hid them in my room and forgot about them... Until tonight”

Shane stared at Nicky, unable to put into words what he was thinking and feeling. The realization that Nicky had climbed in his window with the intention of having sex with him set Shane’s mind reeling. He’d known the second he saw Nicky through the glass that his friend had been desperate to apologize to him... But this was going one step further.  
Nicky wanted to have sex; that much was clear. Shane had to admit, the idea was both exhilarating and terrifying.

“You... Brought them here” Shane stammered. “To use them... Tonight?”  
“I did” Nicky whispered.  
“I kissed you and you called me a queer... Then ran away from me... Now you’re climbing in my window and wanting to have sex with me”  
“Only if you want to...” Nicky said. “I mean, I know what I did to you must have hurt and I’m so, so sorry but I really do care about you. I was at home, staring at the photo from before the Deb and all I could think about was how badly I messed up... I came here tonight, hoping you’d forgive me... And if you did, then I wanted to be ready... I wanted to make sure the night would be special”

Shane covered the space between them and kissed Nicky as passionately as he could. The blonde was taken by surprise but was quick to respond. He felt Shane pushing his jacket off his shoulders and he let it drop to the floor. They separated long enough to remove their shirts before resuming their kisses.  
Nicky pushed Shane down onto his back and climbed on top of him. Their lips remained locked as their hands explored each other’s bodies. Shane could feel his cock beginning to harden as his bare chest rubbed against Nicky’s.  
His mind was reeling; so much had happened to him today that he felt like his life was spiraling out of his control. This was the one thing he could control but he didn’t want to.  
Shane was willing to completely give himself over to Nicky. He trusted the blonde completely. It scared him to know how much he trusted Nicky... A part of him knew that was the reason he’d been so hurt by Nicky’s desertion at the Deb.  
The brunette looked up at Nicky and gently brushed his hand along his cheek. Shane smiled as he looked into the older boy’s eyes.

“I’ve never done this before” Shane whispered.  
“Me neither” Nicky replied. “Are you... Scared?”  
“No... But I am kinda nervous”  
“Should we turn the light on?”  
“I think the lamp’s enough”  
“Yeah, me too”  
“You’re nervous too, right?”  
Nicky laughed. “Heck yeah”

He leaned down and kissed Shane’s lips as his hand trailed down the younger boy’s chest. Once his fingers reached the zip of Shane’s jeans, he hesitated. Shane increased the intensity of his kisses, urging Nicky to take the plunge. The blonde took the hint and undid the button followed by the zip. His hand was shaking as he touched the fabric of Shane’s boxers.  
Nicky wasn’t sure what to do next. He felt Shane gently buck his hips, thrusting his groin into Nicky’s hand. The older boy was hesitant, painfully aware that he was about to touch Shane for the first time. He was terrified but also curious, having never touched another person in that way before.

Shane closed his eyes and leaned back against the pillow. Nicky’s lips were on his neck and his hand was ghosting above his cock. The brunette was getting hard at the mere thought of Nicky’s hand being so close to him. He hadn’t known just how badly he’d wanted this until now. He could almost hear himself begging for Nicky to touch him.  
“Please” his brain was shouting. “Please”  
Nicky could hear Shane’s whispered pleas and wondered if the brunette was even aware that he was talking out loud. Nicky paused, knowing he would remember this moment for the rest of his life. His lips moved across Shane’s chin and back up to his lips. He thrust his tongue into the younger boy’s mouth as he slid his hand inside Shane’s boxers.

Closing his eyes and thinking of all the time’s he’d jerked himself off, Nicky began to stroke Shane’s growing hardness. He kissed him, deeply, taking a moment to accept that he was in complete control of Shane. He hoped this thought turned Shane on as much as it did him.  
Nicky reluctantly ended their kiss as he wanted to look at Shane’s face while he worked him. The excitement and tension that had been building since he’d climbed through the open window was beginning to take its toll. When Shane opened his eyes and looked into Nicky’s, he couldn’t hold back.  
Shane bit his lip, painfully hard, as he shot his cum into Nicky’s hand. He closed his eyes and turned his face away from the blonde. He’d never come so quick in his life and he couldn’t bring himself to look at Nicky.

“Shay?” Nicky whispered. “Are you okay?”  
“I’m fine” Shane replied, his voice a little higher than usual.  
“It’s okay; you lasted longer than I did”  
Shane opened his eyes and looked up at Nicky in confusion.  
“What do you mean?” Shane asked.  
“Uh... I think we might need a towel”

Shane looked down at his body and saw the mess he’d made. Nicky had retracted his hand but Shane could see traces of his seed on the older boy’s fingers. He climbed off the bed and staggered past the boxes into the bathroom. He quickly wet a towel and hurried back to the bed. Shane handed the damp towel to Nicky who immediately began to wipe down Shane’s sticky cock. The friction caused Shane to giggle.  
He sank down onto the bed and wriggled out of his jeans and boxers. When he settled back down on the mattress, he noted that Nicky had shed his pants, boxers and shoes. The blonde was attempting to clean himself off. Shane reached out and took the towel from him.  
Their eyes met briefly before moving down each other’s bodies.

This wasn’t the first time Shane had seen Nicky naked, remembering a time after school when he’d gone into the locker room to look for Nicky. He wondered how he’d managed to forget that... When he’d walked into the locker room to find out if Nicky was ready only to have Nicky drop his towel in front of him, revealing his naked body, then proceed to get dressed... As though standing naked in front of a classmate was something Nicky did often.  
These were entirely different circumstances. Flashing someone in the locker room and offering yourself to them were two completely different things and they both knew it.  
For Nicky, he’d spent lots of time in the boy’s locker room, having always been playing a sport of some kind, so he’d seen plenty of naked boys in his life. He’d quickly become accustomed to ignoring them, having never been interested in seeing a naked lads dangly bits.  
But this time it was different. This time, the naked lad before him was Shane; his best friend. 

Shane waved Nicky back towards the bed and the blonde climbed onto the mattress. For a moment, they continued to look at each other. They were both completely naked and both feeling extremely vulnerable.  
Shane took a deep breath, if Nicky were playing some evil trick on him, surely the joke had gone too far now? He reached out and wrapped his arms around Nicky’s waist, pulling the blonde towards him. Their bodies met and Shane wanted to return the favor Nicky had done him.

Remembering a video he’d ‘accidently’ stumbled across while surfing the internet, Shane reached down and closed his hand over both his and Nicky’s cocks. He then began to stroke up and down the shafts in unison.  
Nicky groaned and tossed his head back. Shane smiled to himself before focusing on Nicky’s face. He wanted to see what kind of reaction his friend was going to have.  
The friction from his hand, mixed with that of Nicky’s cock rubbing against his, caused Shane to harden once more. He tried to clear his mind, desperate to last longer this time.

“Wait” Nicky panted. “Not yet”  
Shane ceased his hand movements and Nicky stopped thrusting his hips.  
“Thanks” Nicky said. “I... I didn’t want to... Then... Just gimmie a sec, okay?”  
Shane nodded his head in understanding. Feeling slightly relieved that he’d managed to avoid coming again so soon. Nicky was still panting, attempting to catch his breath.  
“Let me know” Shane whispered. “When you’re ready”  
“Why?” Nicky asked.  
“Cause I... I want to try something”  
“What?”

 

Shane smiled, sheepishly.  
“Well, I know it’s not your car and you’re not exactly driving but-” Shane began but Nicky cut him off.  
“Shay, no... You don’t-” Nicky stammered. “I mean... Really? Are you sure?”  
“The whole school already thinks I’ve done it so... Why not try?”  
“Shane-”  
“Please, Nicky? I... I want to... To see what it’s like”  
The older boy hesitated. He wanted it too but knew he couldn’t ask Shane to do something like that... On the other hand, Shane was offering and Nicky didn’t want to deny him something he wanted. He could see the curious glint in the brunette’s eye and smiled.  
“Okay” Nicky whispered.

Shane returned the smile and, subconsciously, licked his lips. Nicky could feel his skin beginning to tingle, anticipating what was to come. He saw Shane’s tongue dance across his lips and Nicky felt his cock stirring. The brunette placed his hand on Nicky’s chest, urging him to lie down. The older boy leaned back, resting his head on Shane’s pillow.  
Shane trailed his hand down Nicky’s chest, across his abdomen and paused just shy of his hardness. Shifting his weight and his position, Shane placed his hand around Nicky’s hard shaft. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the tip. Nicky gasped as he felt Shane’s tongue against his slit.

The brunette was nervous but he was also determined. He began to suck and lick the head, moving up and down the hard shaft. Nicky watched Shane closely; he reached down and gently stroked Shane’s cheek. The younger boy looked up, into Nicky’s eyes, and his heart began to race. Nicky ran his hand down Shane’s neck and continued to caress him.  
Urged on by Nicky’s involvement, Shane forced himself to take more into his mouth. He lasted a few seconds before pulling back, he looked up at Nicky again and was about to apologize when Nicky moaned his name.

“Shay” Nicky gasped. “Feels good”

The younger boy lifted his hand and gently cupped Nicky’s balls. This action sent a shiver down his spine. For some reason, touching his friends balls suddenly felt so much more intimate. His eager sucks, along with Nicky’s gentle rocking of his hips, brought him close to the edge.

“Shane” Nicky groaned. “I’m... I’m... Pull away”

The brunette didn’t do as Nicky instructed, taking the blonde’s cum into his mouth. The taste was strong and filled him completely. He swallowed some but began to choke, the majority of the liquid slipping from his lips and rolling down his chin. Nicky grabbed the towel and quickly wiped the brunette’s chin. 

“Shay?” Nicky whispered. “Are you okay? I didn’t want you to...”  
“I know” Shane replied. “I just... Wanted to know...”  
“How was it?”  
“It was... I think... An acquired taste?”

Nicky laughed when he saw the look on Shane’s face. He pulled the brunette to him and kissed him. He could taste himself in the younger boy’s mouth and pulled away.  
“You’re right” Nicky agreed. “I taste disgusting”  
Shane giggled. He reached up and touched Nicky’s cheek.  
“Trust me when I say you’re the only lad I would ever do that for” Shane insisted.

Nicky felt his heart leap into his throat. He wasn’t sure what to say to that. Shane’s words meant so much more to Nicky than he would ever know. The blonde smiled, unable to speak. He knew he could never do what Shane had just done to him. Nicky had had a hard time trying to talk one of his girlfriends into doing it and that was mostly because he hadn’t wanted to return the favor.  
His cock was still stirring. He couldn’t believe he’d already come twice. He hoped he’d be able to get it up one more time. Nicky knew the only thing that would make this night perfect would be for him to come inside Shane.

“Nix?” Shane asked; he was beginning to look worried.  
“I’m fine” Nicky smiled. “You were... That was amazing. It means a lot that you did that for me”  
Shane nodded, relieved that Nicky wasn’t mad at him for not swallowing all of his cum.  
“What do we do now?” Shane asked.  
“You know what comes next, right?” Nicky replied.

They both fell silent, looking into each other’s eyes. Shane did know what came next. One of them would put a condom on and would... Penetrate the other. He’d already had Nicky’s cock in his mouth and, a part of him, was curious to know what it would feel like to have the blonde inside him. He was terrified that it would hurt immensely.  
“You won’t hurt me, will you?” Shane asked his voice shaky with nerves.  
“I’ll do everything I can to make it enjoyable” Nicky explained. “Where’s my jacket?”

Shane looked around and found Nicky’s discarded jacket on the floor. He leaned down and scooped it up then handed it to his friend. Nicky reached into the other pocket and pulled out a jar of Vaseline.  
“Uh, where did you get that?” Shane asked him.  
“In your bathroom” Nicky replied. Shane shook his head.  
“We can’t use that”  
“What are you talking about?”  
“It’s... Messy and just... No”  
“I wasn’t really thinking about... You know...”  
The brunette slid off the bed and over to his desk. He knelt on the floor and opened the bottom drawer. Shane began to search the contents, digging down to the bottom. He returned to Nicky’s side with a tube of lubricant.  
“Where did you get that?” Nicky asked him.  
“I’d... Rather not say” Shane replied.

He didn’t want to admit that he’d found it in his parents bathroom and had been using it for several months when he jerked himself off. It wasn’t that he was ashamed or embarrassed to tell Nicky, he just didn’t want to think about his parents needing it. They’d never mentioned it to him and he’d never told them he’d taken it. 

“Are you ready to do this?” Nicky asked him. The blonde reached out and took the tube from Shane. The younger boy nodded his head.  
Nicky looked at Shane and could see the nervous fear in the brunette’s eyes. He leaned forward and softly kissed him.  
“It’s my first time too” Nicky assured him. “I promise to be careful”  
“Are you scared?”  
“Of hurting you? A little”  
“I trust you”

Nicky began kissing Shane once more. He wrapped his arms around the younger boy and eased him down onto his back. They exchanged several deep, intense kisses as Nicky tried to put the brunette as ease. He knew this wouldn’t be easy for either of them but it required more trust on Shane’s part.  
Nicky’s admiration for his friend had grown so much over the past hour. He couldn’t believe what Shane had willingly done for him... Or what he was willing to allow Nicky to do to him now.

Shane reached around and adjusted the pillows on the bed. He leaned back, supported by the pillows and looked into Nicky’s eyes. The blonde’s breath caught in his throat, Shane showed no sign of resistance. He was willing to just lie back and trust Nicky completely.  
The older boy moved towards him, positioning himself between Shane’s legs. He ran his hand down Shane’s thigh and along his leg then lifted it up, using his own body to support him. He took the lube and unscrewed the lid. His hand was shaking as he coated his finger.

Nicky guided his finger towards Shane’s entrance but before he could go further, he froze. His heart was pounding, he wondered if Shane could hear it. The younger boy was staring up at him with a mix of fear, anticipation and excitement on his face. Nicky leaned down and kissed Shane one last time, lingering briefly. Once he broke the kiss, he was able to focus on what he was about to do. He made certain his fingers were well-coated before approaching Shane’s crevice.

The blonde slowly inserted his index finger. Shane winced and bit his lip. Nicky could feel Shane’s muscles resisting him but he waited it out. The next few minutes passed very slowly as Nicky kept his finger in place. Shane could feel his cock hardening once again.  
He stared into Nicky’s eyes, the pain being worse than he’d thought it would be. For a brief moment, he was scared. Nicky’s finger was much smaller than his cock. Eventually the pain began to lessen and Nicky could sense Shane relaxing. He smiled, encouragingly, at him. The brunette reached out and grabbed hold of Nicky’s other hand.

“I’m sorry it hurts” Nicky whispered.  
“Its’ okay” Shane replied. “I trust you”  
Shane squeezed Nicky’s hand as the blonde began to push his finger in and out of the younger boy. It wasn’t long before Shane stopped wincing.  
“I’m adding another” Nicky said to him. Shane nodded his head.  
Nicky’s second finger met with almost as much resistance. Shane’s ass was so tight and the blonde couldn’t wait to feel his cock sliding inside but he had to be patient. He’d promised Shane he wouldn’t hurt him.

The older boy tried to remember what he’d read on the subject. He’d been in a hurry and wasn’t sure how accurate his web search had been. He ran a mental checklist and noted that they were using a recommended ‘first-time’ position, he was being generous with the lube and he was taking his time. Nicky was feeling confident that he’d mastered the basics.  
He cocked his finger and Shane gasped.

“Oh God” Shane groaned. “Nicky”  
Nicky watched as Shane’s hardness began to ooze with pre-cum.  
“I don’t know what you did but that felt good” Shane said to him.  
Wondering what he’d done, Nicky repeated his actions. This caused Shane to moan again and buck his hips.  
“I’m going to try a third finger, Shay, just to be sure”  
The brunette’s eyes were closed, riding the waves of pleasure Nicky was subjecting him to, and he nodded his head. He didn’t care what Nicky did to him as long as it continued to feel like that. When he felt the third finger breach him, Shane moaned again.

“Nicky” Shane stated. He opened his eyes and looked at the blonde. Nicky smiled as his eyes met Shane’s. “If you keep that up much longer, I won’t last”  
He nodded his head in understanding then removed his fingers. Shane handed him the towel and Nicky wiped his hand. He looked over and noted Shane’s hand was shaking as he opened the package and removed the condom. Nicky reached over and took it from him, kissing him in exchange for the condom.

“You’re sure you still want to do this?” Nicky asked Shane.  
The brunette nodded his head. “More than anything else I’ve ever wanted”  
“There’s no need to go all mushy on me, Shay”  
“I’m lying here with my legs up in the air, cock hard as a rock and we’re about to have sex, if that’s not a call to be ‘mushy’ then I don’t know what is”  
“You’re such a girl, Shane”  
The younger boy leaned forward, cupping Nicky’s face in his hands and crushing their lips together. He plunged his tongue into Nicky’s mouth and kissed him with a mix of desperation and passion. A moment later, he pulled away, leaving Nicky gasping for breath.  
“Bet you’ve never been kissed like that by a girl” Shane said to him.  
“No” Nicky agreed still panting. “I haven’t”

Shane smirked in triumph and leaned back into the pillows. He watched in silence as Nicky’s shaking hands slipped the condom onto his hardness. Shane licked his lips in anticipation. The blonde poured a generous amount of lube to the younger boy’s entrance. Nicky gripped his cock and guided it towards Shane’s hole.

“Just... Try to relax” Nicky said.  
“Easy for you to say” Shane replied.

Nicky reached up and placed his hand on Shane’s cheek. He leaned closer, the tip of his cock brushing against the brunette. Shane bit his lip, wincing as Nicky began to enter him. He lifted his hand and grabbed onto Nicky’s, entwining their fingers. The blonde offered a reassuring smile and held onto Shane’s hand. He held his own breath as the head of his cock disappeared inside the younger boy. Nicky held completely still, feeling Shane’s resistance.  
He wiped the lube from his other hand then reached down and gently stroked Shane’s thigh. Nicky held Shane’s gaze, caressing his skin and trying to keep his breathing even. 

“Shane,” Nicky whispered.  
“I’m okay” Shane replied.  
He stared up at Nicky, his heart pounding and his cock twitching. It was an unusual sensation, the feel of Nicky’s cock inside his ass. He told himself to relax as the blonde carefully massaged his thigh.  
Shane didn’t know what else to say. In that moment, he felt that words weren’t even necessary. He waved his hand, urging Nicky to lean closer. The blonde moved towards him and Shane kissed him.  
Urged on by Shane’s kiss, Nicky began to thrust his hips. It felt strange, mentally and physically. Knowing that his cock was buried inside his best friend’s ass was both exhilarating and frightening. Shane was so tight and Nicky hoped he wasn’t going to hurt him.

The older boy thrust his hips and Shane moaned into Nicky’s mouth. The brunette bucked his own hips, trying to take Nicky in further.  
“Shay?” Nicky whispered.  
“Do that again” Shane begged.  
“What?”  
“That spot... It... It feels... Wow”

Nicky did as Shane asked, thrusting his hips and finding that special spot again. Shane moaned the blonde’s name. The sound sent a violent shiver down Nicky’s spine and the older boy knew he wasn’t going to last long. He leaned over Shane, kissing him deeply.  
The brunette closed his eyes, struggling to maintain his composure. Nicky’s body was atop of his, Shane’s cock was trapped between them and Nicky’s thrusts stimulated him beyond belief. It all became too much for him. He opened his eyes and looked up at the blonde.

“Nicky...” Shane panted. “I... I’m....”

Before he could finish, he came, shooting his load upon Nicky’s chest. It was enough to send the blonde over the edge. The two lads remained locked, both panting for breath. Nicky caressed Shane’s cheek and they shared a tender kiss. The older boy pulled away, hating the way Shane winced when his cock slipped free. Nicky reached for the well used towel and wiped away the evidence of their activities. He removed the condom, unsure of what to do with it. Nicky finished cleaning himself off and Shane nodded towards the garbage bin in the corner.  
Nicky slid off the bed and tossed the used condom into the bin. Looking at the towel, he threw that in there too before returning to the bed. He climbed onto the mattress and lay down beside Shane.  
The brunette rolled over and looked into Nicky’s eyes.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say” Shane whispered.  
“Me neither” Nicky replied.  
Shane reached out and pulled Nicky towards him. He then lightly kissed his lips.  
“Thank you” Shane said. “For making my last night here, something special”  
Nicky smiled and returned the kiss.  
“I wish this didn’t have to be our last night together” Nicky said.  
“Me too” Shane agreed.  
They both fell silent, each looking at the other, and both taking turns to initiate tender and loving kisses. It wasn’t long before sleep overcame them.

*

Shane awoke just after 3am, his naked body feeling the coldness of the room. He pulled the blanket up over himself and Nicky but couldn’t fall back asleep. After several minutes, he climbed out of bed and pulled on his dressing gown. Shane walked over to his desk, intending to turn the lamp off but sat down instead. He opened the drawer and fished out a piece of paper and a pen. The brunette held the pen over the page, contemplating what to write. He turned and looked at Nicky, still sleeping peacefully. Shane turned his attention back to the paper and began to write.

He didn’t look at the clock, so he wasn’t sure how long it took him but when he finished, he felt satisfied with what he’d written. Shane pushed the paper aside and turned back to the bed. Nicky was beginning to stir. Shane watched as Nicky stretched, his arm reaching out for Shane. When he was met with an empty mattress, Nicky sat up and looked around. Shane was smiling.

“Shay?” Nicky asked. “What are you doing over there?”  
“Nothing” Shane replied. “Just wanted to turn the lamp off”  
“Well, come back to bed, please?”

Shane nodded. He stood up and removed his dressing gown, letting it fall to the ground. The younger boy leaned over and turned the lamp off then moved back to the bed. He climbed under the duvet and wrapped his arms around Nicky. The blonde began to kiss him and Shane closed his eyes, willing to go with it. He knew they were down to mere hours left and Shane didn’t want to waste another second of them.

Having rested some, the two lads were able to rise to the occasion once again. Nicky took the plunge and took Shane into his mouth, bringing him to climax before they had sex one last time.  
When they both awoke, several hours later, sunlight was streaming in through the window. Shane sat up in shock and looked at the clock. His alarm hadn’t sounded and he was sure his parents would be awake by now. 

“Shit” Shane exclaimed. “You have to go”

They both leapt out of bed, Nicky hurrying to locate his discarded clothing. He was in the midst of getting dressed when there was a knock at the door. Shane’s looked at Nicky, a look of panic on his face.

“Just a second” Shane called.

He pushed Nicky into the bathroom and closed the door. Grabbing his dressing gown and pulling it on, he walked over to the door and pulled it open the tiniest fraction. His mother was smiling at him.

“Good morning, sleepyhead” she greeted him. “All finished packing?”  
“Uhhhh” Shane bit his lip.  
She pushed the door open and looked inside, taking in all the unpacked boxes. His mother looked at him with disapproval.  
“Breakfast will be ready in about ten minutes” she said to him. “Tell Nicky he’s welcome to join us”

Shane’s jaw dropped open in shock.  
“Mam, how did...?” Shane gaped.  
“It’s okay, sweetheart” she replied. “Your father is about to have a shower, come down once you hear the water running”  
“He doesn’t...?”  
“No”

She smiled once more and hugged him before walking out of the room and pulling the door closed. As soon as she was gone, Shane hurried over to the bathroom and opened the door. When he saw the look on Nicky’s face, he was sure his own must have looked similar.

“How did she know I was here?” Nicky asked him.  
“I have no idea” Shane replied. He reached out and took hold of Nicky’s hand. “You will stay, won’t you?”  
“I....”  
“Well, you can’t climb out the window, someone might see you”

Nicky looked at Shane and knew he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him yet so he agreed to stay. A moment later, they heard the shower turn on so Shane hurriedly got dressed, aware that Nicky was watching him but he didn’t mind.  
The two lads then made their way down to the Kitchen. Shane’s mother was cooking eggs at the stove. When she saw them, she smiled at Nicky.

“Good morning, Nicky” she greeted him.  
The blonde felt himself blushing as he returned her greeting.  
She instructed them to sit at the table then proceeded to serve them both a hearty meal. None of them spoke as they ate, a comfortable silence filling the room.  
When Shane’s father entered the room, Mae greeted him by saying ‘look who turned up while you were in the shower? Nicky came to help with the last minute packing’.

 

Shane and Nicky exchanged a secret smile and continued eating. Peter didn’t find anything strange about it or if he did, he didn’t comment. He simply thanked Nicky for his thoughtfulness and proceeded to pour himself a cup of coffee. They resumed eating in silence; Shane was the first to finish. He found he was slightly too nervous to eat.  
The reality was simple and painful. In a few short hours, Shane was going to be leaving Nicky. The memory of last night was still fresh in his mind and Shane had to force himself to not stare at Nicky. He also had to keep his hands to himself. The last thing he wanted to do was tip his father off.

When Peter noticed Shane had finished, he immediately sent his son upstairs to continue packing. The brunette was reluctant to leave but Nicky was still eating so Shane begrudgingly left the table. He made his way up the stairs and into his room. He walked over to his desk and opened the drawer, retrieving the letter he’d written earlier. Knowing he couldn’t give it to Nicky now, he tore it up and threw it in the bin.  
Unable to put off the inevitable any longer, Shane began with the closest box and began putting items into it. A few minutes passed before he heard a knock at the door. He looked up and saw his father watching him.

“Hi dad” Shane said to him.  
“I know you’re sad about leaving” Peter wasn’t one to beat around the bush. “But you were just as upset about moving here in the first place”  
“I know”  
“We’ll be home before you know it”  
“And it’ll be like this whole year never happened?”  
“If you want to think that way you can... But I thought you’d be happy about moving back home”  
“I thought I would be” Shane said. “But... I don’t know... This place feels like home too I guess”  
“I’m proud of you son, the way you were able to adjust to life here. And I know you’ll be able to re-adjust once we get home”  
“I’m sure you’re right”  
“Anyway, I don’t want to keep you... Looks like you’ve got lots to pack and not much time to do it in. Guess you were lucky Nicky turned up when he did”  
Shane’s father smiled and left the room, pulling the door closed behind him.  
“Lucky...” Shane smiled. “More than you will ever know, dad” 

*

Nicky found himself alone in the Filan’s Kitchen with Shane’s mother. He helped clear the table and offered to help with the washing up but she refused. Mae thanked Nicky then, without explanation, she hugged him.

“Mrs. Filan?” Nicky asked her.  
“Yes dear?” she replied.  
“Uh... How did you know I was here this morning?” Nicky whispered.  
She wiped her hands on a hand towel then turned and looked at him.  
“I saw your car across the road last night when I took the garbage out” she confessed. “I knew you’d come in when you were ready... How did you get inside? I didn’t hear you knock”  
“I... I climbed the tree outside Shane’s window”  
“You could have hurt yourself!”  
“I know... But I felt it was worth the risk”  
She smiled, a little uncertainly. “When I woke up this morning, I went to the window and checked to see if your car was still there”  
“You... Uh... Expected me to still be here?”  
“For Shane’s sake, I’d hoped so”  
“So you’re not mad at me or Shane?”

Mae smiled at him again then gently petted his arm.  
“Nicky, my son is in love with you” she said to him. “And he was heartbroken last night. But this morning, he was smiling. How can I be mad at that?”  
Nicky placed his hand on top of Mae’s and returned her smile.  
“Thank you for being so supportive” Nicky said to her. “I hope you understand just how much I love your son”  
“Nicky, you wouldn’t have risked breaking your neck if you didn’t love him”  
“I just wish we’d figured it out sooner, rather than the day he’s leaving”  
“I’ve never been much of a romantic but in this case I’m going to make an exception... If the two of you are meant to be together, then you’ll find a way to make this work”

*

Shane was pulling items out of his closet when Nicky knocked on the door. He didn’t wait for a response, just pushed it open and went inside, closing it firmly behind him; the brunette was folding his clothes and putting them into a box.

“What do you need me to do?” Nicky asked him. He looked around, trying to find a place to start. Shane nodded towards the bookcase.  
“There’s as good a place as any” Shane replied.  
Nicky nodded his head then picked up an empty box. He walked over to the bookcase and began to remove the items from the top shelf. They worked in silence for several minutes; Shane working inside the closet, Nicky emptying the bookcase.  
Every so often, they’d look at each other and smile. Neither of them would speak and they’d quickly look away, returning to their respective tasks. It was difficult for Nicky, knowing he was going to have to say goodbye soon. Their time together was coming to an end and with each item Nicky packed away, the reality became more painful.

He finished emptying the shelves, finding some of his own books among Shane’s possessions but he didn’t say anything as he knew it would prove a viable excuse to drive to Sligo in the very near future. He closed up the boxes and began to carry them from the room.  
Shane didn’t say anything, unable to think clearly. He didn’t want to leave, just like he hadn’t wanted to move in the first place. This time it was different but he couldn’t tell anyone, aside from Nicky, why.  
When the blonde returned, after carrying out the final box, Shane waited for him to join him in front of the closet. Once Nicky was standing beside him, Shane wrapped his arms around him and kissed him. The inevitable was just around the corner and Shane was desperate to stop it.  
Nicky pulled away and looked into his eyes.

“You have to keep packing” Nicky explained.  
“The longer it takes, the longer I can stay” Shane answered.  
“But... Your father is getting impatient. He’ll probably be coming up here soon to find out what’s taking you so long”  
“I could tell him the truth that I’d rather make out with you than pack”  
“How do you think he’d take it?”  
Shane sighed. “Guess I’d rather not find out”

Nicky nodded in agreement and moved away from the brunette. He knew if he stayed that close to him for much longer, they really wouldn’t get any more packing done. Shane moved back to the closet and resumed his job. The brunette was surprised just how many clothes he owned; not realizing it would take this long to empty.

The older boy decided to empty the garbage bin, hoping to remove all evidence of what the two of them had done last night and again this morning. He threw some scrap paper on top then picked it up and walked out of the room with it. Nicky carried it all the way outside and was about to throw it into the larger bin when he spotted his name on one of the pieces of paper. He set the bin down and began to rummage through the scraps until he was certain he’d found them all.  
The blonde sat on the ground and pieced the scraps together. It looked like a letter, addressed to him and hand written by Shane. He sat back, remembering how he’d found Shane at his desk this morning with a pen in his hand. He took a deep breath and scooped the paper into his hand.

Nicky made his way back inside and up to Shane’s room. The brunette was rummaging around under the bed. Nicky walked up to him and nudged him with his foot. Shane slid out and looked up at his friend. Nicky spotted the condoms in the brunette’s hand but didn’t address the fact.

“What’s this?” Nicky asked. He showed Shane the scraps of paper.  
“You went through my trash?” Shane asked. He climbed to his feet.  
“I was trying to help... I took it outside to empty and I found this...”  
“I can explain... Did you read it?”

Nicky pushed Shane down onto the bed and sat down beside him.  
“No” Nicky said. “I think I found all of it but... I want you to look at me and tell me what it said”  
Shane stared down at his hands and bit his lip. He felt Nicky’s hand on his shoulder and leaned in to his touch.  
“When I wrote that, I had expected to wake up this morning and find you gone. So I wrote everything that I thought I wouldn’t get the chance to say to you. I had been going to put it in your jacket pocket, knowing you’d find it eventually... But you caught me writing it and I didn’t have time to give it to you. After breakfast, I came back up here and tore it up”  
Shane took the pieces from Nicky and looked over them. He handed one back to the blonde and indicated for him to read it.

 

If it's goodbye now forever  
And I never get to see you again  
If it's the last kiss  
Before the world should end  
I wanna thank you for the night of my life

Nicky read the words Shane had written then looked into his eyes. He’d known for some time that Shane had a talent for writing poems and songs but these words caused tears to form in his eyes.  
“I really wanted you to know how much last night meant to me” Shane whispered. “But I thought you’d find it... I don’t know... Lame, I guess... And after seeing you downstairs, eating breakfast with my parents... I knew I couldn’t say goodbye to you in a letter”  
Nicky leaned forward and kissed Shane, fearing it could be their last. When they separated, he took Shane’s hands in his and looked into his eyes.  
“I’m going to miss you so much” Nicky said to him.  
“Me too” Shane agreed.

“Lads?” Mae called from the hallway. “How’s the packing going?”  
“I think we’re nearly done” Shane called out. 

Nicky looked around the room at all of the boxes. He picked up his jacket and stuffed some of the condoms back into the pocket, telling himself it would be a long time before he needed them again.

“I think I should go” Nicky said.  
“Already?” Shane asked; a look of dread upon his face.  
“It’s for the best. You don’t think I can stand out there, watching you leave and waving goodbye... Acting like it’s not the worst thing that’s ever happened to me”  
“So you’re saying you should go, to make it easier on you?”  
“Shane-”  
“I’m not ready to say goodbye yet”  
“The longer I stay, the harder it’s going to be... For both of us”  
“I don’t care, Nix... I need you to stay, as long as you can”

Mae knocked on the door and stuck her head into the room. She saw her son fighting back tears and hated that there was nothing she could do for him. The two lads had immediately separated but relaxed when they realized it was Shane’s mother at the door.

“Shane, your father needs to start bringing boxes downstairs” she said. “Yours is the last room to be emptied”  
“I know” Shane mumbled.  
“The moving van will be here soon, for the furniture”  
Shane nodded his head in reluctant agreement and stood up. He looked around and remembered the bathroom hadn’t been packed up yet.

“Nix, you mind taking some boxes downstairs?” he asked him. “I’ll get the stuff from the bathroom”  
Nicky agreed and watched as Shane walked into the bathroom. He looked up and saw Mae was still standing in the doorway. The blonde stood and picked up the nearest box. He then followed Mae from the room. She instructed him to place the box in the Living room.

The next hour became a rush and the two lads didn’t have another moment alone. They each made trips to and from the house and moved boxes between the cars. It wasn’t long before everything was packed and it was time for Shane and his family to leave.  
Shane stood in his empty bedroom, staring at the vacant space. Nicky came up beside him and wrapped his arms around him.

“I really thought it would take longer than that to pack up an entire house” Nicky said to him.  
“Me too” Shane agreed. He rested his head on Nicky’s shoulder.  
“This really is our last moment alone together”  
“Can I kiss you goodbye?”  
“You’d better”

Tears were spilling down Shane’s cheeks as he leaned forward and captured Nicky’s lips with his own. He wrapped his arms around Nicky’s waist and held him as tightly as he could, never wanting to let him go. The blonde was equally as desperate to hold on to Shane for as long as he could.  
They reluctantly separated and Nicky rested his forehead against Shane’s.

“I made sure to pack some of my books in with yours” Nicky explained. “So I’ll have to drive up and get them back from you soon”  
“You’d drive all the way to Sligo for me?” Shane asked.  
“Every day if petrol wasn’t so expensive”  
Shane laughed and kissed Nicky once more.  
“I love you” Shane whispered.  
“I love you too” Nicky replied.  
After sharing one final kiss, Shane reluctantly released Nicky.

The two lads made their way down the stairs and out into the front yard. Mae and Peter were waiting for Shane. He walked over to the car as his mother approached Nicky. She pulled him into her arms and hugged him.

“You come visit us soon, Nicky” she said to him. “You’ve always got a place to sleep when you do”  
Nicky smiled, unsure if she meant *exactly* what she said. He nodded his head and promised to visit in the near future. Mae released him and walked away. Peter shook Nicky’s hand then joined his wife in saying goodbye to their neighbors.

Shane hung back as his parents bid goodbye to Nicky. Once they had moved away, Shane walked up to him. For a brief moment, they looked at each other. It was awkward, not being able to show the affection they wanted to. Nicky leaned over and pulled Shane into a hug. The brunette fit perfectly into his arms but they maintained an air of friendship, unsure who was watching them.  
They separated for the last time and Shane blinked back tears.

“I’m gonna miss you” Shane whispered.  
“This isn’t the end for us” Nicky insisted. “I know it isn’t”  
“I really hope you’re right”  
“I know I am”  
“I’ll call you when we get there”  
“Won’t that just make this worse?”  
“I don’t care; I’ll need to hear your voice by then”  
Nicky nodded his head in understanding then hugged Shane one final time. The brunette began to back away, making his way to his parent’s car.

Shane turned his back on Nicky and climbed into the back seat, closing the door. Tears were rolling down his cheeks but he didn’t care who saw them. His mother got in the passenger seat. She heard her son crying and it broke her heart. Mae handed a tissue to Shane and the brunette wiped his eyes.  
By the time his father was seated behind the wheel, Shane had managed to control his tears. He looked out the window and began to wave to Nicky.  
Peter started the car and Shane continued to stare out the window. He could see the tears in Nicky’s eyes and he could feel his heart breaking all over again. The car began to move and Shane waved continuously until they turned the corner and he couldn’t see Nicky any more.

The brunette immediately stuck headphones into his ears and began playing music, not wanting to talk to his parents. He closed his eyes and thought of Nicky, his mind replaying his mind blowing night with Nicky. He kept his eyes closed, hoping to hide his unshed tears from his parents.  
He must have fallen asleep for the next time he opened his eyes, he recognized familiar streets and landmarks. They were only about a half hour away from home. He picked up his phone and saw 7 text messages from Nicky. He smiled but couldn’t bring himself to read them yet.

Mae noticed her son was awake and passed a small pile of envelopes over to him. Shane removed one ear bud and looked at her.

“I know you haven’t decided on a college yet” Mae said to him. “But your acceptance letters started arriving a few weeks ago so I kept them aside. I thought if you got them all at once then you wouldn’t have a preference... Favoring the one that replied first or last. I hope that’s okay”  
“Why are you giving them to me now?” Shane asked.  
“Well, I was going to wait until we were home but I thought you might like some reading material for the rest of the trip”  
“Thanks mam”

Shane looked at the small pile of envelopes and began to flick through them, curious to see which ones he’d heard back from. Tucked away near the bottom was one that caused his heart to beat a touch faster. The sender’s name caused Shane’s hand to tremble. University College Dublin.  
He tore the envelope open and pulled out the accompanying letter.  
‘Dear Mr. Filan’ he read. ‘I am very pleased to inform you of your acceptance to University College Dublin as a freshman...’  
He stopped reading, his hands shaking with excitement. He couldn’t make out any more words as his vision was impaired by tears of happiness. Of all the Colleges he’d applied to, he’d been accepted to the same one as Nicky.

“Good news, sweetheart?” Mae asked upon seeing the smile on his face in the mirror.  
“Yes” Shane said, looking up at his mother. “Very good news”

He tucked the letter back inside the envelope and leaned back in the seat. Suddenly, the prospect of returning to Sligo didn’t seem so bad. College was only a few weeks away and he’d be reunited with Nicky.  
Last night had been the best of his life. Today had the potential to be the worst but all that had changed. He held the letter in his hand, scared to let it go in case it vanished before his eyes.  
Suddenly he couldn’t wait to get home. The prospect of talking to Nicky, hearing his voice again, and telling him that he’d found a way back to him was overwhelming yet exhilarating.

Shane pulled his phone out again and quickly typed a text message. He looked down at it and smiled ‘see you soon, love Shane’. The brunette pressed send then leaned back, closed his eyes and couldn’t stop grinning.

END!

**Author's Note:**

> Written as part of the 'Stephanie McIntosh' album challenge wherein I'm attempting to write a fic for every song on her album
> 
> Track # 12 - The Night of My Life


End file.
